a couple of weeks ago, I had this conversation:
patient: I think there are people staring at me through the window.
me: We're on the umpteenth floor, no one is out there or able to look into the window.
patient: Isn't there a ledge?
me: No, and it's 100 degrees below zero, so even if it were possible, no one would want to because it's so cold.
patient: (doesn't believe me), I'm just going to try and be happy.
me: I think that's a great idea
patient: (starts singing the Don't Worry, Be Happy song and mumbling something about the peas being burned in the oven -- which is crazy talk, because really who bakes peas?).
me: (calls the primary nurse and begs her to bring his psych drugs PRONTO).
I tell Jason this story, he says:
You so should have told him that no one was watching him through the window, because you watch him through the T.V.
Jason makes me laugh ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME!
disclaimer: I would never ever never ever in a million years ever say this to a patient....and Jason isn't a nurse so we don't have to worry about him.