finally, photos, fun and a dilemma

Finally, some snow!

Yesterday we went hunting for our Christmas Tree. And darn it if I can't figure out how blogger downloads so these are backwards......

ooooh, can anyone say 'child labor laws?'



The mighty warriors have conquered their prey





Jason, going in for the kill





seriously, can't figure out how these got in the order they did, it's not how I downloaded them...any way...a new use for a bike rack...it actually worked really well...Love my engineer husband.

This is the one...after an hour of trudging around

Nothing to do with trees or Christmas, but the tree farm was also home to a bunch of Alpacas...oh my gosh they're cute...

The finished product...hmmmm, looked less crooked in the forest of trees...and what's with that bald spot..oh well, we had fun picking it out, bringing it home and decorating it

Now for my dilemma......Every year I give an ornament exchange party. This year I've been so stressed about school that I was thinking of forgoing this one festivity. But then our tree went up and I got a bit melancholy about not doing it....so I said to Jason, "maybe I will do it" he answered, "only if you're not going to drive yourself crazy". So here's the deal, I can do electronic invites (did that last year, no one scoffed) I can do pre-made platters from the deli and bakery....this is out of my comfort zone, because one of the things I can do well is put on a spread of homemade goodies and I soooo enjoy hearing the ooohs and aaaahs....cooking for me is an expression of love (probably a major cause of my current weight issue but that's another post)...so it would be difficult to give that up...but having the pre-made stuff will cut my work down by a million percent and it really is about the gathering of friends....I can do the spread next year when I'm less stressed.....

So, should I do it? Should I throw the party minimal style and ask my guests to forgive the meager store bought offerings? Aimee posted pictures of last years festivities here should you need more information to help me with my decision.....

oh hello there! miss me?

and you better say, 'yes'.

So what have I been doing?
1. School is kicking my behind! There is some good news on that front recently...because I've been using my blogging time to actually study, I got an 85 on my cardio test....which doesn't seem that great but it was the highest in the class (and yes, Blaire, I know I'm a b#*ch---but you did great with half the studying). And for this I'm very thankful (do you like how I worked that in). I also got a 100 on my pharm test. Now that, was truly a miracle, because I was so busy studying for the cardio test I only read half the chapters in pharm....I seriously prayed before during and after that test...so I should say, God pretty much got the 100 but I'm very thankful it's on my grade book. I have only two more tests and I'm done for about a month...WOO HOO.

2. I finally got caught up on reading all your wonderful blogs...I feel like such a slacker and I really have been thinking about reading all your wonderful, touching, funny stories (all of which I love to read and for which I am thankful)....but it's like cookies, I can't just read one, so I haven't been reading any. Today I took a few hours -- because Thanksgiving is at my sister-in-law's -- for which, by the way, I am soooo thankful----and I took the much needed time to read and read and it was so good to hear what has been happening to you all.

3. My clinicals are awesome. The people I'm meeting are amazing. I'm learning so much about the ins and outs of being a nurse, not the book learning thing, but the real people stuff. And I love it, and seem to be pretty good at it....at least the people stuff. I am so thankful for that experience and for the ability to be able to talk to just about anyone....finally all those reports that came home throughout my school career about being a 'great kid but talks to much' is finally something that is to be cherished and not something to 'work on'.

4. I spent the day with the boys yesterday, I took them and my niece to the movie Bolt,then to Cold Stone , it was fun. When Jason asked how the movie was, I told him I cried. His response, "You cried at a cartoon" to which I answered, "Shut Up" and he just raised his eyebrows at me....oh pulease, did he just not hear me say shut up? Does he not know that raising eyebrows is akin to SHOUTING......he chuckled then hugged me, I laughed. I'm thankful for 16 and half years of marriage and for knowing this man for over half my life and appreciating that he can laugh at me, I can laugh at him and we both laugh at our kiddos.

5. The boys are healthy, joyful, polite, and wild and just as they should be. It amazing how well they do, even with the poor mothering they've received lately...oh who am I kidding, most of the time....I am truly thankful for the boys they are.

6. I have come down with a cold...so I'm headachy, sneezy and a bit miserable, and I am thankful it happened AFTER the cardio test. And even though it's not serious, I've decided to 'rest' and it gave me the opportunity to play on the computer (oooh and along with catching up on blogging, I got my sister's, mother's, sister in law's and other sister in law's Christmas gifts ordered, and the boys Christmas pajama's....woo hoo).

I hope that this day finds you (even those of you across seas who don't celebrate this day) thankful for what you have in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving

update

1. Failed the test (74---yes that's failing)...arggg, could not have studied more....got a couple phone calls and I'm not alone! I don't even CARE right now as long as I'm still passing the class --well barely, I'm at a 78 and yes, that's barely passing, a 77 is the cut off for failing.

2. Spoke with Jake today, we had some alone time and I asked him what he felt when he was getting together the plates...he said, he just read it and did what the letter told him too and didn't think much else about it. I asked him if his feelings are hurt or he feels sad that I'm back at school and not spending as much time at home. He said, no, we still do fun things and he does things with dad. Then, and get this, he's such a great kid, he asks ME if I'm liking school and I tell him very much and he says that he's glad that I'm happy DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HIM! I DO. He said he hopes he has fun in college too and wondered if there was a college where you could just learn baseball......and then the conversation disintegrated to discussing bodily functions...he is a boy after all.

3. Went to the movies with my family and had a nice dinner with them....test be damned, I wanted to spend time with my family! Glad I did. We saw The City of Ember, it was actually pretty interesting. And very visually interesting.

I'm gonna whine!

I need to study, I have a test tonight and I'm so unmotivated, this class is unfairly hard especially for a 2 credit class. I don't know what to expect on the test. I've failed two tests and did well on two already and I can't find a pattern to my success or failure. I'm not alone in that, most of the class is grumbling. So instead of being motivated to do well, I feel at a loss right now. I hate that. I'm tired, I miss my family, my family misses me. I just want to clean and bake and do something creative and artsy.

ugggg, sigh, poor pathetic me....

okay on to my other boo hoo moment...

Ms. Martha, is the room mom for Jake's class. And she's been very supportive in letting me do things like just bring paper plates instead of some fun home baked contribution. A couple weeks before, I emailed her with my request so I wouldn't have to compete with any of the other moms with the easy peasy contribution. I got her the plates late Thursday night after a twelve hour clinical shift at the hospital. Meanwhile, Jake read the letter that he was supposed to bring plates and he, in a self-sufficient moment, got some paper plates out of the cupboard and brought them to class (which according to Ms. Martha saved the day because there was a lack of serving plates). Here's where I'm torn...I love that he took the initiative, he read the directions, he figured out what to do and he did it. But was it because he didn't have faith that his mom would do it? Is he feeling a burden of making up grown-up decisions because I'm not as available. Is nine too young for this type of independence? Am I just driving myself crazy over nothingness and just really feeling sad because he's growing up? Does anyone else drive themselves this crazy over something seemingly so benign?

It's these things that make parenting so hard for me...wondering if my decisions will help or hurt the boys emotionally. Hopefully when they grow up they'll know that they were loved.

well, okay, I'm going to take a hot shower and hope that I can get rid of this headache (oh yeah, another thing to whine about, I feel a bit illish) and hit the books!

oh, thanks for the suggestions....I went with buying a whole bunch of snacky foods and then a 10 dollar gift certificate to Wallymart, so if they feel the need, they can buy more food or she can get something fun for herself....About half the people brought a small gift for the birthday girl along with the contributions so it all felt very comfortable.