Wednesday, April 01, 2009

something funny

a quick catch up:
got a c in my last class (boo hoo)
love my current internship
looking forward to may 15th (graduation)
strained my ankle on Sunday, only non-skier to be injured over our ski weekend in Winterpark
otherwise, had a good time.

okay, something funny:
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL:
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Have a fabulous day everyone!

18 comments:

OHN said...

Those of us that must transcribe these delicacies at least get to laugh while we work :)

Anonymous said...

Oh those are funny!! Sorry about your ankle my friend. Sounds like something I would do!

Dodi said...

OMG! I also have Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches - brought on by Noisy, quiet, disrespectfully chaming children.

Will I die?

pysanki.blogspot.com said...

I love it! Every year on Valentine's day the hospital used to put out similar "oops." The only one I remember was from an OB doc who started the trascription on "__ Smith: S-M-I-T-H" follow by " I can't believe I just did that." Yours are much better. :)

Sitting In Silence said...

PMSL....TZ they are brilliant ! ha ha ha ha I cannie stop laughing...I so have to write them down and take them to work...

Sitting In Silence said...

Oh and sorry to hear about your foot...hope it's better for you soon xoxox

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your C, but come on May 15!

Love the chart mis-speaks. :)

Ali said...

LOL!!!!

Thank you for that belly laugh :)

new diva said...

LMAO...those are so funny! Thank you for sharing.

terri said...

Love those medical observations, but they don't leave me with a lot of confidence in modern medicine! LOL!

Jenelle said...

Sorry about the ankle, hope it heals quickly for you. Thanks for a good laugh.

readsalot said...

I love these! I hope your ankle gets better soon!

Rock Chef said...

Ah, medical record keeping! A art form in its own right!

Blairbear said...

That is awesome!

Aimee said...

Those that can't type, laugh!!! I love these!!!

Hope your ankle is feeling better. When we went to Keystone I was the only one that fell and the only one NOT skiing. I know how you feel!!

anne said...

hiLARious!! And congratulations on approaching graduATION! -sigh- last time I read your blog you were just starting the program! Cheers to being very close to completing it! I'm impressed.

Rock Chef said...

How are you? Missing you!

Rumour Miller said...

hahahaha... awesomeness