My blog assignment from Martha is to write open ended letters. It's an awesome cathartic thing to do, I had so much fun and encourage some of you out there in blogland to do it too.
I know you think I'm crazy, but I really wish you would be irritated right along side me when the 'culdesac living, poodle owning, nosy, has the perfect daughter' neighbor says something stupid!
*conversation with hubby a couple days ago about newest irritating incident:
Me (M): Doesn't she just bug you?
Hubster (H): No
M: why not
H: I just don't let her get to me
M: Even if she snorted in disgust at you?
H: You snort in disgust at me all the time.
M: (sigh) I really wish she would irritate you like she does me.
H: (laughs) would you listen to yourself
Dear Alpha moms,
Take a Valium! You make it stressful for the rest of us when we don't live up to your volunteer expectations. Sending a 'crisp' email hours before a function about what still needs to be done makes me crazy. If I wanted someone to bark orders at me like that I'd go back to work as a paralegal and work for an ass of an attorney and get paid for it. I'm not going to take that punishment for FREE. So puh-lease, before I drop out of the Hospitality Committee get a prescription for Xanax or Valium or something calming. THIS SHOULD BE FUN! And the other alphas --- THIS IS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, stop freaking out about scores, RECESS is GOOD the children do NOT need to be locked up and drilled for hours. And NO, I'm not a bad mother when I don't force my child to do math sheets daily. They will most likely still get into college -- I did.
Dear School Gods,
Why does the fall semester start THAT Monday? We will either have to leave brother dearest's wedding early and drive a few hours Saturday night or drive Seattle to Denver on Sunday (approx 1000 miles). And thank you for getting me through this semester. Hope you'll still be around for the horrendous summer semester coming up -- Patho and A&P2--Holy Cow!
Dear neighborhood mommies,
I just heart you guys! You're the best, you get me through the day, it's so wonderful relaxing with you over coffee. Thanks for listening, thanks for talking, thanks for just being friends!