Tomorrow is my final in microbiology. I am so relieved that I'm wandering around the house in a haze. My last few grades have been good (two even perfect scores, woo hoo) but even with that I'm still at a B, a high B but still a B. I'm convinced it's the lowest score in the class, don't ask me why; I'm sure the answer would most likely entail years of Freudian type therapy and I'm just not interested right now. I calculated what I would need to finish with an A and even if I got perfect scores on my final and last assignment I would still be off by 1.3 points. Sooo, I'm just going to relax, because frankly I'd rather not kill myself studying and just be happy with a B. It's part of my relax and don't try and be perfect mentality.
I came upon a realization about Isaac. I've been tossing around the idea of starting him in Kindergarten or not. He's technically old enough but would be one of the youngest. I had to make the same decision with Jake, but given where he was in letters and numbers and just plain interest it was an easy decision. Isaac, not so much, he's right up there in that department with the other kids and most likely would do okay. I finally decided to put him in a pre-k program that's more involved then preschool but not as 'cut throat' (and no, I'm actually NOT being sarcastic) as kindergarten. And even though I really think I have made the right decision, I have a niggling feeling I may be wrong. Then I realized it. It's okay for him to be a child. I really wasn't give that luxury myself and part of me choosing to start the boys a bit later gives them one more year of playing and not worrying about tests, grades, sitting still, listening, and enjoying life one year longer.
On the other side of their 13 years of school, I hope they take a year off, and travel the country, see Europe, play a bit before the rigors of college. I don't want them to feel that success is only measured in money and power. If they have that, great, especially if they want that. I want them to know how to enjoy life, enjoy the process of life, not just look toward a goal and miss the journey. I want them to have what Jason and I did not. I remember when Jason got one of his first jobs out of college and rather than congratulations his mother asked when he was going to be CEO. My father would 'regrade' my A papers and deem them unworthy of an A (ok, so maybe I wouldn't need YEARS of Freudian therapy, there's a red flag right there). With the wisdom of age I understand this was the way our parents felt like they could motivate us it really wasn't intended to deflate our self worth.
I want what every mom wants, I want them to be happy. Who knows, they may need therapy because I didn't push them hard enough.
Now, what to make for dinner? I have no idea, it may be a rotisserie chicken kind of night. Whatever it is, I will enjoy the time we sit together as a family and regale each other with the adventures of the day.
5 comments:
Is there no greater gift we can give our children than the gift of time? Be it an extra year to color ourselves all blue or that extra snuggle at bedtime. You are doing the right thing, really...
As for dinner, we had Spaghetti Carbonara last night...using bacon as that's all I had for the meat. Yummy. Or, another recent hit of a meal was Salisbury Steak. Dom said it was so much better than anything he'd ever eaten out of a box and way way way easy.
Or, baked pork chops and pasta salad. those have been our last three meals...each one better than the night before. Easy Easy Easy...
Forget not: a B is ABOVE average! Good luck, you go you go!
Do you have a cast iron enamel thingie? If so, this is a super easy Euro-dinner: brown some pork (I use boneless spareribs--they are cheap and flavorful) in the cast iron enamel/stove and oven proof vessel; add caraway seeds, garlic, marjoram, some paprika, maybe some pepper. Add some liquid (water or broth or white wine or combo thereof) and put in oven with lid on. Let cook at low (325 F-ish) as long as you need--just make sure it doesn't dry out. Serve with veggies and brown rice/potatoes/pasta, whatevs.
Tasty!
PS: as one who teaches undergrads and sees firsthand that some of the guys particularly could really use a year away to do other stuff and see life a bit and figure a few things out, I say, yay to the gap year between HS and college!
I think pre-K programs do so much to help kids get ready for what's expected of them! While I just see the preschool side of things, I know kindergarden is getting more rigid and most kids NEED more playtime (processing, experimenting, imagining, working, creating, connecting, ok i'll stop) than the kindergarden schedule/set-up allows.
Yay for following your instincts even though you don't get the excitement of people who may want to jump right into talking about spelling bees or crossing guard duty or whatever else is Better about kindergarden. --ok, you got to see a little of my edge against rushing kids there. but really! so much of their lives HAS to revolve around other peoples' schedules, so whatever you can do to honor your child's own pace is BEAUTIFUL.
my latest "cooking" fave is breakfast food: microwave an egg for 40 seconds, then layer on some cheddar cheese. Put that on buttered toast, with sliced tomatoes. Add some ham and it's as yummy as an egg mcmuffin but your throat doesn't get parched from all the addidives. I'm sure you guys do Breakfast for dinner sometimes right? french toast and bacon?
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