Punchy Answers to Micro Assignment

I was getting a bit punchy yesterday after working on a Microbiology assignment for a couple of hours. It's crunch time, I'm getting a solid B in the class and I still feel like there's hope to squeak out an A. I'm already admitted to the nursing program, and at the associates level (still will be an RN, will take the same NCLEX as the BSN graduates) you only need to average 2.5/4.0 GPA. But noooo, I want an A, especially because this is such a freakin' hard class. It's almost like someone said 'NO' to me, or told me I couldn't.....I can get a bit stubborn that way (ask my parents, husband, anyone) I'm pretty sure the teacher has a sense of humor so I answered a couple questions, correctly, but with a bit of, well, punchiness.

First one is a drawing. We had to draw out the steps of phagocytosis --in general terms, the cells released to help get rid of nasty microbes -- So as I'm drawing the macrophage engulfing some bacteria, I drew a little cartoon cloud above it saying, 'yum'. Now after the cell, chews the microbes (and/or foreign object) all up it releases the debris into your system...I almost, but didn't, draw a little cartoon blurb about being bulimic. Yes, I realize at times you can go too far...and have been known to stop myself---sometimes.

Second, and I'll just copy and paste here:

27.List Three fomite, for each, write a statement instructing a friend, child, co-worker or patient how to avoid infection transmission by that fomite. Tell who you are informing and use a distinctly different method of prevention for each fomite.

a. Public bathroom door handles. Telling a friend. After washing your hands, keep a paper towel to open the door with, then throw the towel away.
b. Shopping cart handles. Telling a child. Ok, in my case it’s usually, “Stop licking that” with a tone of disgust and dismay. But when I’m in ‘good mommy’ mode it may sound more like this, “let’s wipe this up with some of the soapless germ stuff, then feel free to lick it up” Oh, wait, I forgot, ‘good mommy’ I would just tell him he’d get a cookie if he didn’t lick, and/or touch anything….ok never mind, you just can’t tell a kid anything because they don’t understand.
c. Pen. Co-worker. “Wow, did you see the green stuff coming out of his nose…wouldn’t use that pen if I were you”. (wink wink, nudge nudge), “but if you really want to I’ll spray it down with some Lysol”.
d. Scalpel. Patient. “Oh, sweetie, don’t touch that, I just used it to debride some rotting flesh from a person with Necrotizing Fasciatis. I will first auto-clave it then you may use it.”
(I’ve been working on this way too long and think I should get the point for humor).

You guys would give me the point, wouldn't you?
Ok, off to write up my labs. And then poop patrol in the backyard. I live a full and productive life.