Friday, October 31, 2008

In lieu of

Jake and Isaac got an invitation to a birthday party this weekend. It's with a family I don't know, which isn't a big deal because the party is at one of those fun party bounce houses (ANOTHER business I wish I had thought of...but I digress). Here's my issue. They're requesting that instead of a gift we bring a food donation to their favorite charity. I think the charity thing is a great idea, what a wonderful gift and a great lesson for a child who probably has enough anyway (I'm assuming -- since we live in the burbs in a middle class neighborhood).

Here's my dilemma -- should I still give a gift to the little party girl? I was thinking a birthday card and a gift certificate to one of those girly boutiques where they sell glittery, pink stuff...a good excuse for me to go into one of those stores...since I live in a testosterone dominated house...but would the parents find that offensive? I'll bring a ton of dried food for the charity, but I also want to acknowledge the girl's birthday

arggggg
so here's my question to you all...how set in concrete are the 'in lieu' of's in a kid's birthday invite?

8 comments:

Chief Rock Chef said...

This is the first time I have heard of this sort of thing at a child's birthday party! It is common practice here for funerals (don't buy flowers...).

I really don't know! Personally I would give a small gift anyway - kids should be kids, IMO - burdening them with this sort of guilt is not part of the deal as far as I am concerned!

addhumorandfaith said...

I would take a card and a gift card (but not from a girly place, but somewhere like Wal-Mart where you can use it for someone else if necessary) and then play it by ear. I've been on both sides of this kind of dilemma -- took a gift and no one else did, or didn't take a gift and everyone else did! So, I take something and then look to see which way the "winds of gift-giving" are blowing!

Colleen O said...

That would depend on if the mom is a sociopath or not. (Apparently only 1 in 20 are, so odds are, you'll probably be OK.)

CMSU! (Crackin My Self UP!)

OHN said...

I would go with the canned good, and a card with a small gift card enclosed (no wrapped gift) and mention in the card that a child that is so selfless to think of others deserves a little treat for herself.

(cause you KNOW the kid will be disappointed if she doesn't get ANYTHING:)

ganelle said...

I'm with OHN. Something small for the kid - unless this little girl's idol is Mother Theresa (and even then) she's gonna want gifts.

You'll have to let us know your final decision.

Teresa said...

I agree with what everyone else said. Give a card and giftcard. I too have been on both sides of it and it's frusterating but I think you can error on the side of caution with a small giftcard for maybe like Blockbuster and say atleast you can get a movie and a snack sometime or a movie theater.

Sitting in Silence said...

LMAO @OHN....

What a great idea although I have never heard of this.....what a great way to teach children that Birthdays are not always about presents....

Must pop this into my PDA....

Oh and what would I do?...Ummmm...probably just the food as requested...I think..

Gina Grace said...

No presents on your birthday? How very Mommy Dearest! I don't care how much money your parents have, getting presents on your birthday is half the fun of being a kid, regardless of how much they cost.

Glad you got her a little something. Perhaps the parents need some wire hangers ;)