We're in the car:
8 year old: Boy so and so is going to see Dr. so and so (the school psychologist) because he does weird things, he kind of scares me.
Me: Scare you because he's weird (prepared to give the, 'we are all God's creature's' lecture. )Or does he scare you because you're afraid he's going to hurt you? (Prepared to remind him he took Karate for 2 years and he's allowed to defend himself).
8 year old: He scares me because I'm afraid he's going to hurt me.
before I could respond, 4 year old boy: THEN YOU HURT HIM RIGHT BACK!
Another conversation with the four year old:
I forgot his lunch (I know, I know, I have a fund for his therapy for later). The school gave him money for lunch and he was very excited that he got Tater Tots! School is a magical place, isn't it. I write a check the next day so that we can pay back the school and so he can have lunch money on hand on those busy days when lunch is beyond me.....I give him the check:
4 year old: mom, we don't pay for lunch.
me: yes, we do.
4 year old: no, mom you go to this lady at a desk and she gives you money and then you go buy lunch.
me: that's just because you didn't have your lunch yesterday, we have to pay her back and pay for our future lunches.
4 year old: no, mom, you don't understand, THE SCHOOL PAYS FOR THE LUNCH, IT'S FREE!
me: Nothing's free honey, we have to pay for the lunch.
4 year old: (stubborn little s*&t) well we don't pay and I'm not taking the check --- (arms crossed, mind you)
me: in my head......AHHHHHH
I took the check to the before school day care guy and he gave the cafeteria ladies the check for four year old's lunches....