Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Isaac's Birth Story...

I'm gonna sing the praises of Any Mommy Out There again. She just posted the birth story of her adopted daughter. Grab your tissues and have a read. In the mean time, should you choose to read a much inferiorly written birth story (though a fantastic child who is right at the moment running in the upstairs hall naked trying to torture his brother in ways I do not understand) then read on....

We wanted our babies closer together but as luck would have it I had a case of 'secondary infertility' no one could explain why, it just happens sometimes (I hate answers like that). For a year I had to go into the doctor's office and take medicine to get my period to even start. And I was one of those 28 day text book people, had no problem conceiving Jake so it was quite aggravating, frustrating and a bit scary. The OB put me on Clomid and I got pregnant right away. We were thrilled. Our due date was July 4th, just two days after my son's birthday and 1 day after my brother's.

Sadly it wasn't meant to be. I miscarried. It was painful, physically and mentally. Why is it when you go in for the final blood work during a miscarriage that the waiting room is full of beautifully rounded pregnant women. Women who don't want to look at you as you scurry out of the office, barely able to suppress the sobs, tears running down your face, because they KNOW.

Christmas was coming and we didn't want to deal with anything until the holiday was over. God had other plans and we got pregnant. What I thought was 6 weeks into the pregnancy I started to bleed again. I cried and cried but this time the hormone tests kept coming back fine. So I went in for an ultra sound and not only was that little baby still living and strong but I was a month further along. How could this be, my two periods after the miscarriage were horrible (I won't go into details here but really not sure how you can expel so much and have something still alive there) The doctor speculated that it may have been a lost twin? Again, no answers and we'll never know but we were blessed to have this one. Except! the ultrasound showed certain signs of Down's syndrome. We opted for the amnio. Not because we would have terminated but because I wanted the facts. I wanted to be prepared as much as I could. I prayed and prayed for a week. I figured if this would be the case then God knew we would be parents who could love and nurture such a child and it would really be a gift. I was filled with such peace about it. And then we found out all was fine.

My first trimester was one heck of an emotional roller coaster. Besides the 9 month-all day fatigue, migraines and nausea...the rest of the pregnancy was fine. I opted to not find out if he was a boy or a girl. But Jason desperately wanted to know. For Father's day that year I had the radiologist print out a picture of the ultrasound, write what the baby was and put it in an envelope. And then I put it in a Father's day card for Jason. I told him that he could tell NO ONE.

Jake was three weeks early but this one, this one ended up being a week late. I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarean) so they didn't want to 'induce' me as my chances of uterine rupture would increase. Even so, I was done, I was ready, I wanted to see my tiny baby and hold him in my arms. Every visit I would bring the doctor and staff some type of dessert, trying to bribe them into inducing me. The OB would tell me we could have this baby tomorrow if I would agree to a repeat C-section. Finally, I was going too far beyond my due date so the OB agreed to an induction.

I went into the hospital at 10 pm. I was given a cervical softener and told by the nurse that I was closed so tight I would need a couple more of those before I even got the pitocin. She hooked me up to the monitors and left the room. I told Jason that I thought I might be in labor already. The room had a display of the monitors from all the other rooms. Jason looked at my flat line and the lines of the other women and told me that, no I was not in labor. Who can argue with technology? So he sat back and watched a re-run of Friends (it happened to be the episode where Rachel had her baby). At 11 I had a gut-wrenching-sit-straight-up-and scream-pain and then felt a gush of water spread down my legs. I yell at Jason that my water just broke and he needed to get the nurse. He had the good sense to NOT look at the monitors to tell me that I was NOT in pain (my monitor, apparently was not on correctly) and he ran to find the nurse. She came in and checked me and I was dilated to a 4. She called the resident who came in minutes later and I was dilated to a 6. I was going fast. I had seconds to recover from each contraction. I was screaming profanities like you would not believe and groaning and grunting like an animal....it was horrible and NOT PRETTY. The nurse told me to 'be quiet, you're scaring the other patients' at one time, then told me to stop gripping the bed rails because I could blow my IV --- "ARE YOU F*&#king KIDDING ME"

They couldn't get a heart beat, I was going fast, so they gave some meds to slow down the labor and wheeled me into the OR. I was screaming for the "F*&^king anesthesiologist" at that point. Jason stayed behind to get his scrubs on. They get me into the OR, I needed a hand to squeeze so I point to this guy and I yell "YOU, GET OVER HERE" He obliged and I squeezed his hand through another contraction. After that gut wrenching pain was over I asked who he was, apparently he was the staff OB and if I would let go of him he'd do the C-section. Jason came in at that point as another contraction hit. I was checked again and I was an 8. The anesthesiologist showed up and I begged her for the epidural. She said she couldn't until they decided whether or not I was going to have a c-section as she might have to put me completely out, I answered "ARE YOU F*&#king KIDDING ME". (do you see a theme here) They got in an internal monitor, I was at a 10, his heart beat was fine and I got the epidural. It was 12am at that point. Just two hours after I showed up at the hospital.

Two hours after that Isaac was born. Holding him was magical. Everything in the room went away and I looked into that precious face and loved him. Then I asked, is it a boy or girl. Everyone laughed because they all assumed I knew already.

11 comments:

new diva said...

My goodness what a ride! The prize at the end is, as you well know and shared, all worth it though!!!!!!!

OHN said...

That is a great story :) I may have to post my 3 stories because they are all so different.

addhumorandfaith said...

What a great story, tz! I laughed every time you said, "f*&#king" -- not exactly the image I have of you. Amazing what pain will do! But, no one can describe the thrill after the birth, can they.
Well told.

Martha said...

The funny part is that if you know Tracey in real life "F*@$ing" is not one of the words you'd ever imagine her using. She's just not that big of a potty mouth...I guess unless she's having a baby...and I didn't know her then!

Great story.

tz said...

new diva...totally it's all worth it in the end..

ohn...i can't wait to hear them

add humor and martha...between each contraction I'd apologize for my language and as soon as that pain hit my mouth had a mind of it's own!

I also let out son of a b*&^h once in awhile too...jason said there were truck drivers blushing at my language...

oh well..

terri said...

What a beautiful story. Birth is such a miracle, no matter what the journey is like.

jenelle said...

Heartache to heart-capture. What a great story. I think I'll share my own story...

Teresa said...

I was on the edge of my seat...what a great story...we'll not the painful part but the holding your miracle part! :)

Daddy Forever said...

Holy cow! I'm glad guys can't get pregnant.

Colleen O said...

geez, you should be a labor and delivery nurse. . . =)

I love to hear you gush about your kids, even before you knew boy or girl?

anymommy said...

Beautiful. That last paragraph is the reason that I adore birth stories. What a journey you had though. We lost a pregnancy at 10 weeks. It's a pain that never quite fades. I was thrilled to read your happy ending!