Fat Girl Hiking (said like you would say Dead Man Walking) Hanging Lake Edition

We took a weekend getaway to Glenwood Springs -- a fun place to go if you get the chance. On our drive home we decided to hike Hanging Lake. Even though I've grown up here in Colorado I haven't heard of it, but the info on the web said it was a one-point-two mile hike, so I figured no big deal we'd get it done in a couple of hours and get to Beau Jo's in Idaho Springs by lunch . Boy was I a whole lot of wrong! The nicely paved trail to the head of the trail to Hanging Lake was serene, I figured wow this was going to be a piece of cake, now I'm thinking that the people in charge of these things have one sick sense of humor faking us out like that. We get to the sign and to the left there's a slight incline, again, I'm thinking no big deal, as you go up the incline a bit you see a wall face of pure sheer cliff, beautiful cliff, but still cliff, and I wonder, is Hanging Lake way up there? -- Surely not! Well,folks, surely the heck yeah (okay in my brain there were more "choice" words used).

Ten minutes into the hike I need to take a break, I use taking pictures of the kids and scenery as an excuse. Twenty minutes into the hike more pictures, and some sips of water, Jason cautions me on using all our 'space' on our camera up so early into the hike....we haven't even gotten to the quarter mile marker yet. I'm wondering how I can get the family to turn around. That first incline was a baby step, now we're climbing over huge boulders --- umm okay I may be exaggerating a wee bit, but Jason's still needing to pull me up and at times I need to almost crawl (I wish I was exaggerating here). The kids are having a blast -- I'm feeling sick. I'm now starting to see people on their way back down and we haven't hit the half mile marker (Holy mother of GAWD). At least I don't feel like dying --- yet.

Along the way there are picturesque bridges, gorgeous scenery and thank the Lord -- benches. We park ourselves on one and have some nice cooling drinks, which does not stop the burning in my calves, but whatever I can't complain because I gave the kids a big-ol-lecture on how unappealing that is to listen to (me and my big-mouth-parenting). At this point the people coming back down are encouraging us to keep going, the view was worth it blah blah blah, I really wanted to do some serious harm. Meanwhile the boys are saying "wow mom this is the kind of stuff they do on the Biggest Loser" This time I wanted to do harm to my own flesh and blood. The boys then decided that the next Biggest Loser should be in Colorado and they should hike this trail (okay that's actually not a bad idea) ANDDDDD, I should be a contestant (offspring have no problem telling you the truth!).

Three hours later we get to the one mile mark, we still have the point-two to go. There's a bench, I shall call it the Bench of Defeat. We sat, had more water had some cliff bars. At this point I though maybe I'd die. I look up and see the last part of the hike, the point-two and there are railings, probably at a 45 degree angle UP on the side of a cliff. Physically, I figured no way...but with my fear of heights I figured no FREAKIN' way (again, the choice of language in my head, much more colorful). I told Jason and the boys to go on with out me, take lots of pictures, I was going to rest and head back down, they'd probably catch up with me pretty quickly. They went on and I sat there for a bit. Meanwhile this older gentleman with a walking cane and knee brace sat down next to me, told me he was 65 and had just rode his bike to the trail head from Glenwood Springs and just hiked up and if he could do it, I could and he even said I could use his cane. OH MY GAWD! Like a used car salesman he was relentless until I agreed to go up the rest of the way. Big sigh here....so I did. The last bit was grueling. I must have been quite a sight dragging my fat self up the side of that cliff because more then one person asked if I needed help....I would gasp my denial and keep going up, listening to others encourage me and give me those 'atta girls'. Part of me hated that I'm in such horrible shape that I needed those, other parts of me were grateful no one was questioning my logic of making such a hike.

And then I MADE IT.

And it was beautiful...worth it? I'm not so sure, I'm still sore three days later.

And then I had to go DOWN....ugh.

So today, I went into Slimgenics, a weight loss center so that next summer I can do that same hike and be happy about it. I'll post more later...those posts will likely involve lots of whining.

Financial Advice from the guy at the McDonald's drivethrough

Sooo, embarrassingly my card got declined at the McDonald's drive through...4 dollars (two hamburgers and a small milkshake -- don't judge me)....I stupidly ask, "Strange, I wonder how that happened" Most people might think that was a rhetorical question, but the guy at the drive through window, apparently, thought I really wanted his opinion, so while I was digging through the ashtray/coin holder of my car and the bottom of my purse for loose change (yeah, I really wanted that milkshake) the late-teen-early-twenty-year-old decided to tell me how my card could have been declined. He mentioned that if you go into your overdraft a lot then you're charged fees and that's what could have happened--after all not everyone knows that. He was also kind enough to tell me that if I don't pay the overdraft then they can close the account. After I gave him a handful of quarters and reduced my order to just the milkshake, he also mentioned the importance of paying my bills on time....REALLY?

Thankfully, the bank is just across the street from the McDonald's, so I promptly drove over there....after all, I had just looked at my account and I was not in overdraft, bills all paid and thankfully a decent amount in the account (yes, I know we're lucky and blessed to be able to say that). There was a weird charge for an Indian restaurant for 900+ dollars but then a credit for the same amount. I figured, Jason had lunch, they charged the wrong amount and promptly corrected it....I figured WRONG. The lady at the bank....after a chuckle at my story of the McDonald's clerk....called the visa people and was transferred to the fraud department...apparently, it wasn't on Jason's card that the 900 purchase was on, it was mine (not being an engineer, I rarely eat Indian food for lunch, so how could this be?)....apparently this was an Indian restaurant IN India. Our bank card has an awesome fraud department and they caught the activity right away, shut down my card and credited my account (Go Compass/BBVA bank -- don't mess with Basque bankers). Then the clerk said, "sorry I have to do this," and cut my card, I turned to look at the people in line behind me and said, "It's because someone got my number....not because I'm overdrawn" .... like they cared.

Moral of story, don't use my debit card for online purchases.
Not all calls from the bank are sales calls and maybe I should stop screening so much.
Jason sometimes eats lunch at places other then Indian restaurants.

I guess I'm an anti-Mrs Robertson...

J's coach decided to have some pre-season practice and was able to get a high school baseball team to help the little league guys out. So the other moms and I were watching the bigger boys help out the smaller ones learn the ropes of baseball (the kids LOVED it!)....anyhoo this was part of our conversation.....

Me: (about one of the high school boys) Holy cow, look at his pants, they're so dirty!
J: They were sliding
Me: Oh....
Coach's Wife: Were you checking him out?
Me: OMG, no, I was thinking about the laundry his mother is going to have to do and why don't they just wear black pants?

Pause
laughter

Seriously, when did I stop checking guys out and start thinking about laundry?
Just sign me up for AARP now!

It's time for a letter

Dear Homeless Guy,

I appreciate that we are in an economic down turn right now and things are tight and that might be the reason you and your friends were on the corner of Speer and 8th with your homemade signs and bottles wrapped in paper bags. I was on my way to work, rushing between two hospitals (where, by the way, one of your buddies tried to pee on me when I was taking care of him) and that's why I was eating in my car, so yes I did avert my eyes because I felt horribly guilty as you rubbed your tummy in the universal "I'm hungry" sign as you waved your sign angrily at me. I'm so happy you got a laugh from your cohorts....which makes me wonder why you bought that bottle of whatever that you so cleverly hid in that brown bag instead of buying some food if you were so damn hungry. I digress -- I really do feel the plight of those who have lost their jobs and are losing their homes and do think something should be done about that (and have and will continue to donate to worthy causes that help those in need), but when I see you and your brethren (fellow homeless guys, in case you're going to blame FREE public education for your current plight) drinkin', laughin' and hangin' out makes me (almost) want to become Republican.

In the future, I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell, "Bitch" at me when I choose not to give you my last dollar. I need that dollar to buy the tar they call coffee at the hospital so that I can stay awake until midnight to take care of people, some of them who may very well be you or your asshole friends who thought it was so funny of you to call me names....while on may way to WORK (look the word up, you have plenty of copious free time!).

Sincerely,
me

(picture lifted on coffedad.com blog -- pretty sure he lifted it off of someplace else)

It's been coming on for a couple weeks now -- snide little comments, sighs when things aren't done correctly, reprimanding me for putting the knife in the dishwasher after he told me he thought we should hand-wash our knives. These really little stupid things that I've been slightly hurt about, then simmering about, then after rolling them around in my brain started to even boil about it. I felt like I couldn't say anything because he's been helping so much around the house since I've gone back to work.

But, I had it, so I said something.....and he goes off on a list of my most horrible transgressions...I leave wet towels on the bed, I leave my shoes on the floor of the closet and don't put them on the shelf blah blah blah, I am, apparently the worse wife EVER....

so I calmly (and I so rarely get to use that phrase while describing myself) say, 'hey honey, I have a list about that long about the stuff that irritates me about YOU. I just choose to keep it to myself, because they don't mean anything'

pregnant pause

"Well, you should tell me, then we can criticize and degrade each other, it's how it's done....duh" and he comes over to me and hugs me.....

Which made me laugh.....

and now I'm not mad anymore.

Reflections.....

I'm not sure if it's because I'm not feeling well, it's the new year, it's coming up on the anniversary of my dad's death or I'm in the middle of some life changes right now, but I'm feeling quite reflective and this may bore you....but whatever, it's my blog.

My dad died 21 years ago right around the beginning of January, I was 19. He was living in New York and I in Denver, we met for Christmas in Washington DC that year. I had suspected he had been sick for quite awhile but he looked horrible when I saw him. I didn't want to tell him though or even mention illness. We pretty much just danced around the issue because diseases like that weren't discussed then, it wasn't really heard of much, and no one knew a lot about it except it was something that struck gay men. We had a good Christmas, my sister was there, my brother was there too (back round here, this is my brother from my dad and a friend of his, I also have two brothers from my mom and my step-dad -- my sister and I share both parents --- not your typical family structure). We all had a good time, hanging out, seeing some sites, shopping. The day after my brother flew back to Denver (I can't remember how old he was, but little, I'm not sure he was even in school yet), I saw my dad, on the couch, having a hard time catching his breath. I took a deep breath and said, "I know you're sick, I think you know it too, I think we should go to the hospital" (Um, this would be the WASP side of the family, if you couldn't already tell) He looked defeated at that moment. It's a hard look for a man who was 6'3, normally robust and full of life to pull off, but defeated, worn down and frail is how he looked. The friend with whom we were staying took us to the hospital. My dad was whisked behind the double doors and I filled out some paperwork. Except for a brief traumatic moment in the ICU, I never saw him again.

What seemed like an eternity and yet also seemed like just a few minutes....in some weird time stands still but speeds up kind of thing that you can't explain but some of us know what I mean....the doctor came out, hugged me (not a good sign) and told me that my dad wasn't going to make it. He needed to be vented. The doctor wanted to know if I knew what my dad would want in this case but his opinion was that there was no hope of recovery. At 19, I had to fill out the paperwork to pull the plug on my dad (FYI, way too young to make that decision!).

We went back to the friend's house and made calls. Family flew in from all over the country and my dad passed within a couple of minutes of his last visitor.

I spent the next couple of years being really angry at him. Angry at his being gay, angry that he was dead, angry at what a mess his life was, angry that he died of AIDS, something so dark and sinister (it was the 80's and I was 19, I would pause stutter and blurt it out, confused and embarrassed every time anyone asked what my dad died of, because the next question was always, 'how did he get AIDS?'--- I so know it wasn't PC to feel that way, but I did).

Now? Well now I just miss him.

I wonder what he would have thought of my becoming a nurse, it's so far out of the range of what we ever discussed. What would he think of Jason and would he be proud that Jason and I have worked so hard in having a strong marriage. Would our marriage be so strong if I had had a father to run to when things got tough? I am saddened that my children will never know him. I am saddened that he never got to be a grandfather, he would have found so much joy, pleasure and wonder in the presence of his grandkids (he has five and one on the way --- according to my brother's Facebook page). If he was around, would my sister have made some of the harebrained decisions she made in her life? Would his influence have helped her in any way? My sister and I would have known our brother, instead of just having an another 'friend' on Facebook, we would have funny stories to share about our shared parent. He, most likely, barely remembers our father or us. My memories are just of annoyance (I was a TEENAGER at the time), so we never got to know each other. Frankly, it was when we became adults that I developed a relationship with my other brothers.

What would life have been like having a father during my adult years?

I'll never know.

I have lived more years without him then with him. I have lived more years with my husband that I have had with my father.

And even so, I still miss my dad.

What a year!

Merry Christmas

Our Christmas Picture this year....we'll be sending them out next week...blogging isn't the only thing I've slacked on this year.....

It's been so long since I've updated that when I went to type in my blog URL there was no pop-down to Zimmerhouse....gah!
Here's what's been going on:

I GOT A JOB!

Job Facts: Acute Dialysis RN. I'm in my 6th week of a 10 week training course. It's been going well, I really do like it. I think I'm going to like the people with whom I work (whew). They seem to be very conscientious about their jobs and I feel like they're taking a genuine interest in making my training go smoothly and no one seems to mind my endless questions....The work itself is proving interesting....the down side...oh my gosh do my feet hurt at the end of the day and my lower back....ugh...I'm thinking I'm too old to have started such a physical career......

DEMO HAS STARTED ON OUR REMODEL

We found junction boxes just hanging in the joists and a live wire wrapped around a pipe....wondering if there was an inspector out there in the 80's taking bribes or really stoned....sheesh!

Days before Christmas......this goes in the 'what the hell was I thinking' file!


Just one of the piles the contractor (our neighbor, Tom) drove to the dump.

No more white brick in that weird asymmetrical 'suburbia-pseudo-modern' pattern (and still so not sure why the previous owners painted THAT shade of green and framed red wallpaper as a center piece....but then I'm NOT a designer, or play one on TV).

Remodel facts: What can I say, I'm insane! We order our Kitchen cabinets next week and hopefully by the end of March we'll have a new downstairs. The prep work (scraping cottage cheese off the ceilings, the new fireplace wall, raising the height of the kitchen ceiling, crown moulding in the dining and living rooms etc) should be done in the next couple of weeks.

I HAVE THE GREATEST HUSBAND EVER!

Husband facts: He took a couple days off before Christmas and cleaned the whole house....which is no small chore given the remodel. The training schedule has me working five days a week (I go to three-twelves when I'm done ---can't freakin' wait). Anyhow, we had 30 people or so coming for Christmas Eve and he got the place presentable. He's also been super supportive and has picked up the parenting slack in a beautiful and poetic way -- which has made my transition to working-outside-the-home-mom a little bit easier (my kids also have the greatest dad ever!)

I'M LEARNING TO LET GO OF THINGS

Letting go facts: 30 people over for Christmas Eve. I usually cook for everyone as a gift, but this year we went with the whole pot-luck thing and we ordered Rumbi Grill. I did not bake a bunch of cookies and give the kids teachers cookie platters....actually I forgot them altogether this year...I'll have to remedy that in January.....okay, stream of consciousness writing can become a bit side tracked...particularly with my consciousness....back on track...ordered out, did potluck...everyone still had a great time! Forgot to take pictures, so you'll have to take my word on that.

Alrighty, that's it in a nut shell.....Here's to you all, hoping your holidays were wonderful and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Note to self.....

DO NOT USE SELF RISING FLOUR WHEN BAKING UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO.....So I grabbed the container with the Self-Rising flour INSTEAD of the regular flour and I still added baking soda (because I thought I was using regular flour) and all of the sudden I hear stuff happening in my oven and peer in to watch the banana bread explode, then sink into itself. UGH. Little bits of dough caught on fire and then the smoke detector went off....there was a haze of smoke collecting on the ceiling of the entire first floor and the house smelled like smoke as did my subsequent baking attempt. Double ugh. I've since cleaned the oven twice and may need to a third time before attempting another baking project.

These are pictures of the banana bread after I got it out of the oven....I wish I was able to catch the fire...but didn't get to the camera fast enough. Note the dough encrusted on the outside of the baking dishes. Seriously had to use some muscle to scrape it off.

On a funnier note....I walked in on the younger one meditating. He was sitting in the lotus position chanting, "Ummmm, I'm so awesommme, Ummmm, I'm so awesommme" It was so funny to see him do that, funnier still was when he then added, "Jake's so not awesommme". Even Jake laughed.

my vegan challenge is turning more into a vegetarian challenge

It is really really hard to eat out during this challenge. Yesterday we took a group of kiddos to Casa Bonita to celebrate Jake's and a couple others 10th birthdays (yes, his real birthday was a few months ago.....with studying for the boards, Jason's Achilles' tendon deal, looking for a job, Isaac being on swim team and Jake doing baseball....I was a little out of my mind this summer...and now it's Isaac's birthday and Jake pleaded, cajoled and guilted me into making sure I had his birthday BEFORE ISAAC's....and Isaac's is, oh TODAY.....argggg...anyhow, the kids have forgiven me, I hope to forgive myself in the next twenty or so years). Those of you not from Colorado, or ever been here, Casa Bonita is a, ahem - well, an experience. You don't go there for the Mexican food. Truthfully, you could get better Mexican food in a remote Canadian village. I kid you not when I tell you that you could taste the plastic in the cheese. But they do have bottomless sopapillas and lots of honey. Side note: we may have built up the sopapilla factor because when Isaac picked up his first ever, he said, 'what's the big deal, this is just bread!' As soon as we pointed out the honey, he became more satisfied. Anyhow, the point.....there was nothing, NOTHING I could order and you HAVE to order to get in. So I decided to go more vegetarian then vegan and ordered the cheese enchilada platter that came with two beef enchiladas....took one bite of the cheese enchilada....GAROSS (do NOT remember the food being that disgusting when I was a kid????) and so pretty much paid $11.95 for some rice and beans, and of course sopapillas. The company was great (the moms from coffee club, and Jason, who we called Big Love for the day), the kids (13 in all) had a wonderful time so it was all well worth it in the end. This may sound like a bad review, but seriously, Casa Bonita is a place you have to experience at least once in your life....order the taco salad, the meat comes on the side...if I had only known....

And now today....Cloudy, With a Chance of Meatballs....with some seven year olds....at the Movie Tavern. Again, nothing, NOTHING to eat if you're doing a stupid-vegan-Dr.-Oz-freakin'-sadist-challenge. So, again went more vegetarian and had a gross cheese pizza with a wilted dinner salad. The kiddos tried the special meatball pizza in honor of the movie. Oh and by the way, ADORABLE movie. Although, the main character reminded me a bit too much of Isaac...in all of his quirkiness. The kids enjoyed it.

Lessons learned....lentil soup is actually sounding better and better (holy cow did I just type that and MEAN it?). I need to get more organized. And going Vegan is really really hard!

Some shout outs to those who have been blogging and have written some funny stuff -- to make up for me being so BAAAD at blogging:


TMI but so ever funny and shoot my comment is on there which is also TMI

and if you followed Design Star at all then you have to read Dodi's Selective Reality Blog

enjoy!

Day Three Of Vegan Challenge

I really want a hamburger....

yup, that about sums it up!

(photograph from foodfacts.info.com)

Vegan Challenge

OH MY GOSH...it's been awhile, I know. I've been trying to get a job....and get this-- that whole nursing shortage IS A MEAN BAD JOKE! Well at least in Denver. I'm taking a couple days off of the whole looking thing and think I may do this: Dr. Oz's 28 day Vegan challenge Hey, if this meat and potatoes hardworkin' cowboy can do it....then I should be able to do it too....well in theory. So I started the day with my Latte but had them make it with soy milk and did NOT use any sugar or sugar substitute, then had some whole wheat toast with almond butter and an apple for breakfast. So far, not bad, but then I'm only in hour 12 of the 28 DAY challenge. If any of you out there have any vegan recipes....hand them over!

I wonder how Jason's going to feel about this?

Whatever, he can have meat at lunch.

Anyhow, this and maybe some kick boxing....I have to get into shape...one of the jobs I've applied for is in the Department of Corrections, where part of the job descriptions states, 'needs to kick above the waist and be able to use a baton in a striking manner' ..... never thought I'd see that for an RN position, but hey, I guess empathy isn't one of the major requirements for prison nurses.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and if you hear of any RN positions in the Denver area, keep me in mind!

I'm An RN

I passed I passed I passed, and now I'm officially an RN (registered nurse).....Whoo Hoo!

OMG OMG OMG

I take the NCLEX (nursing boards) tomorrow and I'm totally freakin' out! Not to mention, Jason's Achilles tendon popped this weekend and he'll be needing surgery (we find out today when) and Jake woke up throwing up this morning. I'm feeling a bit nauseous myself, and who knows if that's pretest jitters or coming down with whatever Jake has.

If this isn't all proof that God has a warped sense of humor, I don't know what is!

Wish me luck!

What can anyone possibly fight about after 17 years of marriage? Well Let me tell you....

So now I'm getting Facebook messages that I need to blog (you know who you are and are) so here I am blogging my really stupid argument with my husband this morning. Let me first confess, I may have been a touch cranky.......

Isaac got one of those Happy Meal toy characters from the movie "Night at the Museum" (or whatever that movie is with Ben Stiller). He (Isaac) was playing with it at breakfast and Jason asks, "who is that"?
I say, "I think it may be Amelia Earhart".
He says, "It can't be, look at the plane, it's gotta be one of the Wright brothers". --- and he, as far as I'm concerned, could have added, "you moron, don't you know anything about aviation history" He denies it, but it's really the condescending tone he took.

uh, yes, I am PMSing, why do you ask?

I say, "No, I really think it's Amelia".
He says, "It can't be".

I'm disgusted and leave the room. He later leaves for work.
One of the boys finds the card that goes to the toy and would you look at that, it's AMELIA FREAKIN' EARHART....

I WAS RIGHT.

So I call him. I was dialing the phone, mumbling something about being right about the stupid McDonald's Happy Meal toy and Jake, the NINE year old asks, in an all too sane voice for my particular taste this morning, "Mom, are you really going to call Dad to say you were right about the toy?"

I say, "yes," in a voice that portrayed an air of dignity, as if to convey this is really how adults behave and I was being EVER SO FREAKIN' MATURE.

Jake just shrugged his shoulders and walked away (smart boy---uh, must take after me).

Jason answers the phone, I tell him we now have proof (proof, get that you engineer....PROOF) that it's Amelia Earhart.

He pauses......and says,
"Well then she was flying one of the Wright brother's planes".



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Don't fall over, I'm back....

I finished my last presentation for my very last class ---- woo hoo. Now I just have to pass boards and I'm an RN (this should happen sometime in June). I have to say, although I received the education promised, this was one of the most soul-crushing, ego-busting, miserable two years of my life.

Whatever....

So....cute story about one of the kiddos....

Don't know why we started in on this conversation (and really, as parents don't we often wonder how some conversations came to be?) but the boys were asking Jason and I why sisters and brothers can't get married.
I said, "because it's illegal."
Jake asked, "why?"
I said, "because it's gross and nasty."
Jake said, "Mom, picking your boogers is gross and nasty, but that's not illegal."

hahaha -- very true, but I wasn't ready to get into a genetics lesson with the nine year old.

Have a great day!

something funny

a quick catch up:
got a c in my last class (boo hoo)
love my current internship
looking forward to may 15th (graduation)
strained my ankle on Sunday, only non-skier to be injured over our ski weekend in Winterpark
otherwise, had a good time.

okay, something funny:
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL:
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Have a fabulous day everyone!

My Last Med-Surg Test

It's my last test in this horribly hard class (my last clinical will be this Friday)....I really really need a 94 to get a B....(it's that weird and unfair grading scale where a B is 85-92)....and so, even though I've been super really bad about keeping up with all your blogs and you could say I've been a very bad blog friend (fyi, I've been a pretty bad real-life friend too) it's for a good reason (and seriously if I'm ever your nurse you'll be glad I studied this much)...oh, back to my original thought, even though I've been a bad blog friend, please please, think good thoughts, pray, rub the buddah belly, hug a goddess....whatever floats your boat...that I do well on this test...10 am mountain standard time...okay, back to studying (not that I don't trust the power of prayer, it's just always good to have a back up plan)....

And yes, I know above sentence/paragraph is a run on sentence...for an English major I have horrible grammar and spelling...go figure.

my funny husband.....again

Either my husband is really funny or my horrible housekeeping skills gives him a lot of ammunition or both....but the other day he comes running down the stairs yelling, "Call 9-1-1, call 9-1-1" I didn't even ask why because he sounded so concerned. My finger was on the 9 on the phone when he said, "someone stole all your clothes".....I had spent the day, a day out of my SPRING BREAK mind you, organizing the closet.....I laughed any way---mostly because he was just so proud of himself and he is so darn CUTE.

A couple nights before that report cards came out. He handed me Isaac's (I was doing a 12 at the hospital and so he got to the back packs first that day). I freaked out, it was all about what a problem child he was, how he's not even reading at a kindergarten level (he reads above level by the way)...it was sooo not what we were expecting...I mean it even said he didn't get along with his classmates or teachers....I was about to explode when Jason said, "look at the name" ---- well no wonder it didn't sound like our child, there was a mix up...whew, but mean Jason for doing that to me....I still laughed, I can't help it, he's so darn cute! This is why I can't really discipline the kids that well either, they're so darn cute, just like their dad. Anyhow...Jason told me that he got to the comment section and even read the other kid's name, and instead of thinking it was another kid, thought it was some strange pet name for Isaac....hahhaha, now that's funny Mr. Smarty Pants. (FYI...Isaac is doing fantastically, he gets along well with others and his teachers, he just can't keep his desk organized....hmmmm, I wonder if he ever cleaned it out if his teacher would yell, 'call 9-1-1).

I should have gone to design school

Each test is getting progressively worse and I may actually get my first C in a class.....(still above 80% but they have that wonky grading scale and I need to be above 85 for the B). GRRRRR

Okay, enough, just a quick update, thank you for your well wishes! I have to rush to the tutoring center...where by the way I'm the Tutor...hahaha, if those first semesters only knew....but before I leave I thought I'd share with you about my funny husband's phone call this morning:

ring ring
"Hi Jason"
"Hi honey, I don't know why I get on these thought tangents but I just want to apologize for wearing a gray tux with burgundy tie at prom.....I must have looked like such a dork"
"hahahahha, but I still married you, didn't I"
"and thank you for that"

Have a fantastic week everyone...I'm swamped --- clinicals at our local county hospital, where by the way, last week some guy tried to purposely pee on me....really I kid you not!

Test Today

Okay, I have a test today, and I should be studying instead of blogging....but I figured I could implore the 2 of you that read my blog to wish me good luck around 1:30 Mountain Standard Time.....because sometimes it feels like no matter how much I study, I still don't do well (well-- my definition of well)......

That aside...who out there is an avid follower of the HBO series Big Love...well oh my gosh, this season is the best so far, amazingly intense, visually appealing, plots and twists....emotionally gut wrenching....WOW.

Okay, that's it for now -- I seriously have to get back to studying.....

my funny husband....

So Jason and I were sitting in front of the TV watching some show and there's a woman brushing off a picture and table and he shouts, "Oh my gosh what is she doing"....

I burst out laughing..."dusting, and you are SO lucky I have a sense of humor!"

Total Writer's Block

Don't know what's wrong, but I've had a serious case of writer's block! I can come up with one liners for Facebook but that's not much to blog about....here's what I've been doing.. studying, cleaning, hanging out with the kiddos, cooking, facebooking, studying (oh, yeah, I already said that one)

flippin' exciting

no one's done anything funny lately...well ok the kids did draw a smiley face on the dog's bottom and it took a couple of washes to get it out and now there's a faint red circle on Hannah's rear...but other then that, NADA. I was invited to do a Meme of what's in my purse by New Diva On The Blog but other then a wallet with zero cash and a couple receipts...nothing interesting.....

Sigh...I'll leave you with the following cartoon....maybe it'll give you a chuckle....sorry I can't offer much more...but in the mean time I'll check out all of what you've been doing and maybe get some blogging mojo back for it....

Turkey-onion-apple pot pie w/ cream cheese pastry

So I made a comment on Rock Chef's blog about a random savory pie I made ages ago (but it was really good) and next thing I know I'm getting an email requesting the recipe...so because I have nothing to post --here you go...enjoy, I think I'll make it this week...maybe even post a picture? (oh and FYI, Rock Chef is having a contest, so it's worth visiting his blog to see if you can win)

Cream Cheese Pastry:
Combine
1 1/3 cup flour
1/2 Cup butter, cut into chunks
1 3 oz package of cream cheese

when coarse crumbs form add
1 large egg yolk

stir until well formed, pat into flat disk about 8 inches wide and wrap and refrigerate it.

Pie:
2 onions
2 golden delicious apples
1 yam (or sweet potato)
1 tbsp of butter
1 1/2 lbs of ground turkey breast
2 tsp dried sage
1 1/2 tsp caraway seed
1 1/3 c fat-skimmed chicken broth
2/3 c dry sherry
3 tbs cornstarch
salt and pepper

1 beaten egg

Peel (and core) apple, onion and yams and slice all, thinly.
Melt butter over high heat and brown turkey
Add onions, apples, yams spices and cover and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally for 10 minutes.
Uncover, turn heat to high, stirring often until liquid is evaporated and onions are starting to brown (5 min)
In small bowl mix broth, sherry and cornstarch, add to turkey and stir until it boils and thickens, remove from heat, add salt and pepper and let cool fro about 30 minutes...stirring occasionally. Spook mixture into shallow round 2 quart casserole dish or 10" pie pan that holds at least 6 cups

On lightly floured board roll pastry into round about 2 inches wider then the dish you are using, center pastry over filling, trip edges, overhanging 1 inch, fold overhang under pastry flush w/ rim. Flute pastry firmly against dish and slash top or cut decorative shapes into top (I use a small maple leaf cookie cutter and add the cut outs to the rim of the pie.

Set pie on a foil lined baking sheet, brush w/ egg

Bake at 375F until pastry is well browned and filling is bubbling 35-45 minutes, can cover rims w/ foil to prevent them from browning more then the rest of pie.

This recipe originally came from Sunset Magazine
Thankfully I got tagged in a MeMe by the witty writer of Say Anything So I'll have something to write about later this week. I'm in one bit of a dry spell.

My interview from Chief Rock Chef

My first day of class went well...well the lecture went well, but I failed my math test (a test you need 100% on to pass) so I retook it today and passed...woo hoo. Anyhow, I'm thinking this semester is going to be my favorite yet. I finally feel like I have a rhythm to my studying, I know the teachers and I only have two classes....it's the home stretch and I'm stoked! Soooo, Chief Rock Chef sent me some interview questions and I thought I would share them with you....for those who requested interview questions, I'm in the process of getting them out and those who haven't yet, please do! It's fun to think up questions and no worries, I'll be very polite, no weird stuff!

Here you go.....

1.- Soon after we "met" you sent me a prize (an amazingly well chosen prize at that) and I remember you commenting that you like trying to buy good presents for people. Have you ever bought something that has fallen totally flat, turned out to be absolutely the wrong thing?

I'm very glad you liked your prize. It was very fun trying to pick something out. But, you were actually very easy to buy for. I never seem to find the right thing for my sister-in-law. She would never ever say otherwise, she's too polite, but sometimes you just know. I once bought her a heather gray sweater and leggings only because I thought she would look fantastic in that color. I hadn't realized at the time that she never wore much color, she stayed with some pretty basic whites and blacks and sometimes tans...it never occurred to me that this color would be out of her comfort zone, but it was. Most of the time I buy her gift certificates, she has most of what she needs and wants.


2 - You have committed yourself to the wonderful, stressful, often thankless world of nursing. If you were suddenly able to switch to a new career (no training, studying, etc needed) what would it be?

If I could be anything....I'd be an interior decorator. I love color, furniture, paintings etc and like to see how to put them all together to make a comfortable livable room. My favorite channel on television is HGTV . I would also like to be an artist, preferably a sculptor.

3 - Looking at old posts, you seem to get a lot of bad weather where you are - Colorado I seem to recall? Do you enjoy this or would you prefer to live somewhere with a kinder climate? Where would you go?

Colorado is a pretty awesome state. Even though we do have snow (not much lately, it was 70 degrees F today, we had the windows open and the kids were wearing shorts) we also have more sunny days then California. The snow rarely stays on the ground for more then a couple of days. We have the beautiful Rocky Mountains just a few minutes away. I love having all four seasons too.....BUT, I would actually love to live in the Pacific North West, a place with actually worse weather then ours because of the amount of rain they have...but I love rain and I love green. They also have mountains but in combo with the ocean.


4 - Long ago I had did a post about a TV show that I wanted to do - a cooking show called Rock Chef which would feature a different rock star guest each week. Have you ever thought of yourself doing a TV show? If so, what sort would it be? Who would be on it with you?


Whatever show I'd do, it would probably end up a comedy....I'm not really comfortable being the center of attention like that so I think most likely I would produce rather then host a show. I think it would be fun to do something Martha Stewart like but with REAL people and ideas for REAL life. Seriously if I spent hours creating marzipan turkeys for Thanksgiving I'd have a fit if someone ate one....Martha Stewart is just nuts.

5 - If you are having a bad day, what thing is most likely to cheer you up, or are you doomed once a day turns bad?

Sadly, I often turn to food, but it doesn't cheer me up, it makes me feel worse....but a lot of times my husband can joke around or poke fun at what I'm doing and I can usually cheer up. I'm rarely doomed....but the days that I am, I usually leave the family and crawl into bed so that they don't have to witness it.....
Thanks John for the interview questions they were fun to answer. And for the rest of you...check out the directions in my post below should you wish to be interviewed (and I so hope you do!).

My Interview from Ali

OH MY GAWD, SCHOOL STARTS TODAY....TODAY...AND IT STARTS WITH A MATH TEST! so instead of freaking out (okay, who am I kidding, I'm freaking out) I'll leave you with my answers to Ali's interview questions:

Ali, at Idiosyncrasies of a Gemini Mind (Isn't that a great name for a blog....oh wait as a Gemini myself, maybe I'm biased) sent me some interview questions (and in case you're wondering, so did Chief Rock Chef...I'll get to his on Wednesday)...so here are the answers, and should the whole 5 people who read my blog wish to be interviewed by ME....just see below what to do....


1. Once school is over and you're "officially" Nursey McHealthypants, what are you going to do to celebrate?
Well, I think I'll start off with sleeping for a week....I'd like to take a family vacation, not sure where --it'll most likely depend on our finances, so it could be a week away in our lovely mountains or a cruise in the Caribbean.

2. What's one of the funniest situations you can remember being in with your hubby - where you both laughed yourself silly?
Jason and I have known each other a long time, but the one thing that strikes me as one of our funniest moments, is also quite embarrassing to me.....but what the heck, I'll share it anyway. Jason and I went to an improvisational thing one night and someone on stage was revving up the audience. He would yell things out like "what high school did you go to" and everyone would yell out an answer. I was very caught up in the moment and when he yelled out "who did you lose your virginity to" I yelled out "JASON"....but no one else said a peep, so it was my lone voice in the crowd yelling an answer-- then a roaring burst of hysterical laughter on the announcer and audience parts....color me beet red...but, no, it didn't stop there. Later the announcer came around in the audience asking questions and he came to me and asked who was sitting next to me and in a shy, contrite voice I had to say, "Jason" which made the audience and the announcer laugh that much harder.



3. Do you ever wish you weren't such an unpredictable/feels everything Gemini? I only ask this because obviously I am one myself, and sometimes it's exhausting.


Oh my goodness yes...and the quickness a mood can change for me is sometimes confusing and irritating...but the good news on that front is that I can come out of a funk pretty easily (especially if humor is being used). What is most aggravating though, is the whole fence sitting thing...I'm really good at seeing both sides and often agree with both sides of almost any issue. I really admire those who can take a stand for something because they can move forward where as I am still debating in my head which is the right thing to do...
Jason does joke with me about which personality is coming out to play, or he'll ask if I'll consult all the people in my head before making a decision....he's a funny guy.
4. Your favourite thing about being a mom to your two little boys? And do you think they're easier than girls?
The hugs....I love those spontaneous hugs and "I love yous" from them. I know that they are going to get less and less in the coming years so I eat them up now. I love smelling them when I hug and cuddle them, almost like I can breath in their essence.
Not having had girls, I'm not sure what would be easier. I've heard that girls a more mellow at this younger age, but harder in the teen years? Boys at 9 and 6 are certainly exhausting! I think I'll still have the worries about teen peer pressure with smoking, drugs, alcohol and sex that a mom of girls would have in the later years, so I'm not sure I'll have it easier then then a mom with girls?

5. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? And what would your superhero name be?
It would be 'super fix-it woman' and I would get my house remodeled....I would love to channel Carter Osterhouse (or whatever his name is..the real cute carpenter guy on HGTV) and have my house actually completed within the next year...seriously we are now over a year on our master bath remodel.....grrrrr
Not very creative or romantic, but there you have it!

Thanks Ali for your fun questions! And if any of you would like me to interview you, let me know and see rules below.


The only rules are that you have to link back to the original post and you have to put these rules in your post:"Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions."

Finally some good financial news...well for us at least

Had to pay my tuition...that was hard, BUT it's the last semester I have to do that...WOO HOO (ok, until I go back for my BSN and MSN)...anyhoo, the good news is that in this disaster of a year, our ARM, the very first and only one we've EVER done and only did because we owned two houses at the time, is coming up at a time when interest rates are going down so our rate is also going to go down and locked into that reduction for a year so we don't have to scramble to refinance and hope our house held at least some of its value so we can stay in the 80% range and not pay PMI....YAY! Now if only the stock in J's company would go up (could you all go buy some stock in Perficient and help that along please, I'd really like a new kitchen).

Again, I have nothing to really write about...if someone (Chief Rock Chef) would email me some really interesting interview questions...I'd so have something to write...sigh....(how's that for a guilt trip, CRC)as it is, I'm having a block...or maybe I'm just living that uninteresting of a life.....hmmm, something to ponder, but later I'm off to attend a seminar on how to read for nursing school...this might have been more helpful in the beginning of the program, but maybe I'll pick up some good tips... (thanks, Martha, for your sage advice on Facebook).

Recipe for Cuban Black Beans (well my version at least)

Since I have nothing to complain...er...write about I thought I'd just post my recipe for Cuban Black beans. Not as good as my mom's (according to the rest of the family) but she won't give me her recipe because she says she doesn't know how she does it, she just does it....So my recipe is a combo of cook books and the few times I've observed her....here you go and hope you enjoy, if you decide to try it....

2-3 pieces of bacon
1-2 chorizos, thinly sliced (I use La Abuelita Spanish Style Chorizo --not so much the Mexican version which tends to disintegrate)
1 yellow sweet onion, finely chopped
1/2 green pepper, finely chopped
1 small jar of pimientos
3-4 cloves of garlic
4 cans of black beans drained
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 1/2 cups of beef broth
2 tbs ground cumin
2 bay leaves
2 tbs of oregano
2 tbs red wine vinegar
2 tbs sugar
salt and pepper to taste

(if you want a healthier version, forget the bacon and chorizo and saute the onions, green peppers, garlic and pimientos in olive oil and serve with brown rice)

Cook bacon and chorizo, push to side of pan and saute the onions, green peppers, pimientos and garlic in oil of bacon. Add everything else, mix. cover and cook over low heat for an hour or two. Serve over white rice (I like the short grain-- sushi rice is good for this recipe).

My Husband Makes Me Laugh

So I finally made dinner last night, we've had a week of eating out and ordering in (bad mommy). Jason enjoyed the meal (grilled thinly pounded seasoned steaks, Cuban black beans and rice and a tossed salad) so I laughingly and sarcastically said, "So, it's okay if I make home cooked meals more often?"
To which he replied:
"Yeah, and I'll even throw in that you can do the dishes after"
Me: Seriously (said with glee), oh that would make me so happy....you know there are households that if one person cooks the other does the dishes.
Him: I think that's an urban legend.
Him again: Anyhow, those households don't get to see this (he sweeps his hand up in down in front of himself) naked
Me: (can't talk because I'm laughing so hard)
Him: Well you didn't have to laugh quite that hard.

I got CARDED--woo hoo

I'm at the grocery store buying stuff for a dinner I was having for three other couples (I did a potato bar, it was awesome, I mean when you're having a vegetarian, someone on Atkins and a couple who is pseudo-kosher it's really difficult to figure out what to serve -- Atkins friend, ate the fixin's w/out the potato, vegetarian friend ate the potato without the meat fixin's, pseudo kosher couple were more pseudo then kosher so did have some of the ham)....Now to the important part of my post....

I was at the grocery store, buying stuff for dinner and threw in a six pack of Coronas. I was checking out and the clerk asked for my ID. I gave him a blank stare and asked, "why". He answered because I was buying beer. I exclaimed, in SHOCK, "you're CARDING me?"

and he says....get this...
"We card anyone under thirty"

So I tell him I'm forty. He got all flustered...
Unfortunately I didn't actually have my ID....
so he proceeded to lecture me about driving without my license, apparently he was going to the police academy and was very concerned about my breaking the law....

No beer (no worries, we did have wine), a lecture...but no problem because SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS UNDER THIRTY.

Happy New Year

I wondered what I should do about this post, should I reflect or should I look forward....hmmm, well in Gemini fashion, I've decided to do a little bit of both.

This last year is such a hazy blur, I've been trying so desperately to succeed in the nursing program. Torn between being a wife, mother, homemaker and student and trying to do well at all. Sadly, I've not done exceptionally well at any, but passable at all (well not so much homemaking, really sometimes washing the cabinets can be mind numbingly DULL).

My husband? Well he has outdone himself in picking up the slack (well, not so much about the homemaking, mostly because I think he might agree about housework being mind numblingly dull -- picking up the toilet brush is not quite as exciting as programming--uh, well for him at least). But he's been fantastic at watching the kiddos when I couldn't, playing with them, working out his very busy schedule to give me the time to study and go to school. He's been very patient with my moods, even those moods that overwhelm me around test time. He's an amazingly supportive, wonderful man!

My kids...well they're great, I can't help it, sometimes when I look at them my heart just hurts with love. I feel overwhelmed by happiness and I feel like I could burst right open. (Hmmm, why is love often times explained in aspects of pain....a different post perhaps) In January 2008, they resolved to not eat fast food for an entire year, and THEY DID IT. Both Jason and I are so proud of their being able to stick to something like that. They are healthy, smart, active boys who keep me on my toes but have taught me about love in only the way that having children in your life can.

What's in store for next year? Well, thankfully I'll finish my nursing program in May and I'll be an RN. It's terrifying and wonderful to think about. I can't wait AND I hope it never comes. It's hard to explain --to want something so much yet be terrified by it also. It was that way for me when I got pregnant, I wanted the baby to hold so much but also was so scared I walked out of the L&D department, while telling Jason I changed my mind. I feel the same way about nursing.

This year I'm resolving to take care of myself. I'm not going to diet. I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm going to be as forgiving of myself as I am to others. I'm going to go get that massage, pedicure, facial, whatever. I'm going to say yes to fruits and vegetables and cake and say no to artificial sweeteners. I'm going to take leisurely walks with the dog and kiddos and not see it as a chore, or a way to lose weight but a way to enjoy nature and play with the kids. I'm going to live my life like I think my life would be lived if I were already thin.

This year I will most likely be saying good-bye to my mother. Seeing her slowly die will be very difficult, especially knowing that the cumulation of choices she has made in her life has brought her to this end. I am thankful that this last year will be spent here in Colorado, where I can spend time with her and get to know her. I haven't lived in the same state with her since I was nine, so this is an opportunity to get to know her better before she leaves us and for the kids to have memories of her, even if brief. I'm going to look at this as a gift, not a loss. I'm going to concentrate on the gifts more then the losses in my life, life seems more full that way.

These are the things that are on my mind on the first day of 2009. I'm happy with them, the good, the scary, the sad. These are the messy things that make up life, a life I'm happy to be living.

To all of you, I wish you all happiness, prosperity, love and a little bit of mess for your lives this coming year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Boys....

The boys and I were watching TV (it's disturbing how many times I start out with that line, but we can discuss my parenting another time) and we saw a boy pinch a girl's behind. I gasped, looked at it as a learning opportunity and told the boys that that was disrespectful (thankfully they didn't point out that daddy does that to mommy all the time) and that girls really really didn't like that and it could end up getting them slapped.

So Isaac says, "yeah, well boys REALLY like it"

hmmm, can't argue with that.

What have I been doing....

Well I would love to have pictures to go with my post but my computer is down and I'm so totally frustrated with it right now! So I'll have to add pictures later....and maybe, just maybe I can talk hubby into a very cool Apple laptop I spied today...I mean it would be my environmental duty to purchase it, it's mercury free and recycled and a bunch of other good 'green' stuff...and it's CUTE, but I digress....

I had my annual ornament exchange party and it was FUN FUN FUN, I'm so glad I did it. Twenty-nine lovely ladies came by, we talked, we ate, we made bawdy jokes. I so love my friends, my neighborhood friends, my dear friends from the past, my new friends. They are all a lovely bunch of women and I'm blessed they are all in my life (even the ones that couldn't make it).

Then a couple days after that, I had about another thirty people over for Christmas Eve. I didn't do a traditional dinner (seriously, I'm just a little insane, not out of this world Martha Stewart insane). I made up three different types of chili (green, meat and vegetarian), threw them in crock pots, had some fixin's and let people munch at their leisure. It was a mix of family and friends and we ended it with a Dirty Santa gift exchange (where you can steal a gift or take one from under the tree). Our friend's sister was visiting from England and she has decided to single handedly introduce this tradition across the 'pond'.

Christmas day was spent in our PJ's the kiddos were supremely happy with Santa's visit. Jason and I loved our gifts from each other. More importantly we had a good time in each other's company. We trudged down the block to my sister-in-law's in our PJ's for a nice Christmas breakfast, came home, played games and then my brother and sister in law visiting from Seattle came with my parents and we visited and munched on leftovers....very satisfying.

So I can't say we've been doing anything exciting, or anything really worth writing or reading about but for me it has been a beautiful week with family and friends. A reminder of how truly blessed I am.

Merry Christmas

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Cookies, cookies and more cookies

These are the cookie platters I'm delivering to the boys' teachers for Christmas. I'm also adding a little gift certificate to Barns and Noble. I never know what to do for the teachers, they deserve so much, but I don't have a lot to give.....

I've been doing some baking....This was one day, I didn't take pictures of day two...just think double what you see here.

Aren't these cute! I made a peppermint cream cheese filling for these guys.

Cranberry shortbread cookies for the cookie exchange party a neighbor is giving this Saturday.

We decorated gingerbread men the other day, and yes, I got a little naughty with one of them (OK, OK, I know I'm a bad influence on my children). So Jason said, "Mommy's mind is in the gutter" and Jake says, "No, YaYa's mind is in the gutter" (that would be Jason's mom----hahahaha) She'll laugh when I tell her....

"No Daddy, I haven't been eating any of the cookies"

my very own goofball! I'm blessed....and I'm not even being sarcastic!

I'm here! I made it

Jason's Christmas party...I think I'll frame this one and give it to Isaac's first girlfriend....

jeeze, trying to get the kids to smile or be good for the camera is insane....they're really much cuter then the pictures may indicate....

so I finished...and hey I finished with two B's and an A woo hoo! Not bad for someone who was almost failing one of those classes....

I barely had a chance to breath and then caught the stomach flu...in a bad bad way....then got a call from the school because Jake threw up on the play ground (yuck, I know). But youth is so wonderful, he was fine that night (actually he was fine after he threw up, but the nurse didn't believe him....and I probably wouldn't have either...so this time crazy school nurse had a point).

I'm now needing to spend a week of baking, cleaning, cooking and shopping...but shall have fun doing it!

and the following...well it's a lesson to Not ask your husband to save you blog draft for you....he might decide to contribute (he's a funny guy, I laugh all the time!)......

Did I mention, my husband ROCKS! He is the most handsome, talented, intelligent and sexy person I know. I worship him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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OMG, kill me now ,Nursing school is hell!

I was thinking about just repeating...Dec 9th over and over, that's when I'm done, that's when I'll have a month of freedom that's when I can burn my Pharm book and dance around the flames like some Puritan at a book burning of the Scarlet Letter or something....but if I did the repeating of Dec 9th in may be too reminiscent of The Shining where Jack typed 5 million times whatever it was he typed...but it was creepy and I don't want to be creepy....I just want to sleep.

I'm so procrastinating my final project, I've played of facebook, I'm updating here and saying absolutely nothing, I even cleaned off my computer desk top and organized my word files.

I need help!

Anyway......If I can stay sane until Dec. 9th, I'll be a happy camper......

finally, photos, fun and a dilemma

Finally, some snow!

Yesterday we went hunting for our Christmas Tree. And darn it if I can't figure out how blogger downloads so these are backwards......

ooooh, can anyone say 'child labor laws?'



The mighty warriors have conquered their prey





Jason, going in for the kill





seriously, can't figure out how these got in the order they did, it's not how I downloaded them...any way...a new use for a bike rack...it actually worked really well...Love my engineer husband.

This is the one...after an hour of trudging around

Nothing to do with trees or Christmas, but the tree farm was also home to a bunch of Alpacas...oh my gosh they're cute...

The finished product...hmmmm, looked less crooked in the forest of trees...and what's with that bald spot..oh well, we had fun picking it out, bringing it home and decorating it

Now for my dilemma......Every year I give an ornament exchange party. This year I've been so stressed about school that I was thinking of forgoing this one festivity. But then our tree went up and I got a bit melancholy about not doing it....so I said to Jason, "maybe I will do it" he answered, "only if you're not going to drive yourself crazy". So here's the deal, I can do electronic invites (did that last year, no one scoffed) I can do pre-made platters from the deli and bakery....this is out of my comfort zone, because one of the things I can do well is put on a spread of homemade goodies and I soooo enjoy hearing the ooohs and aaaahs....cooking for me is an expression of love (probably a major cause of my current weight issue but that's another post)...so it would be difficult to give that up...but having the pre-made stuff will cut my work down by a million percent and it really is about the gathering of friends....I can do the spread next year when I'm less stressed.....

So, should I do it? Should I throw the party minimal style and ask my guests to forgive the meager store bought offerings? Aimee posted pictures of last years festivities here should you need more information to help me with my decision.....

oh hello there! miss me?

and you better say, 'yes'.

So what have I been doing?
1. School is kicking my behind! There is some good news on that front recently...because I've been using my blogging time to actually study, I got an 85 on my cardio test....which doesn't seem that great but it was the highest in the class (and yes, Blaire, I know I'm a b#*ch---but you did great with half the studying). And for this I'm very thankful (do you like how I worked that in). I also got a 100 on my pharm test. Now that, was truly a miracle, because I was so busy studying for the cardio test I only read half the chapters in pharm....I seriously prayed before during and after that test...so I should say, God pretty much got the 100 but I'm very thankful it's on my grade book. I have only two more tests and I'm done for about a month...WOO HOO.

2. I finally got caught up on reading all your wonderful blogs...I feel like such a slacker and I really have been thinking about reading all your wonderful, touching, funny stories (all of which I love to read and for which I am thankful)....but it's like cookies, I can't just read one, so I haven't been reading any. Today I took a few hours -- because Thanksgiving is at my sister-in-law's -- for which, by the way, I am soooo thankful----and I took the much needed time to read and read and it was so good to hear what has been happening to you all.

3. My clinicals are awesome. The people I'm meeting are amazing. I'm learning so much about the ins and outs of being a nurse, not the book learning thing, but the real people stuff. And I love it, and seem to be pretty good at it....at least the people stuff. I am so thankful for that experience and for the ability to be able to talk to just about anyone....finally all those reports that came home throughout my school career about being a 'great kid but talks to much' is finally something that is to be cherished and not something to 'work on'.

4. I spent the day with the boys yesterday, I took them and my niece to the movie Bolt,then to Cold Stone , it was fun. When Jason asked how the movie was, I told him I cried. His response, "You cried at a cartoon" to which I answered, "Shut Up" and he just raised his eyebrows at me....oh pulease, did he just not hear me say shut up? Does he not know that raising eyebrows is akin to SHOUTING......he chuckled then hugged me, I laughed. I'm thankful for 16 and half years of marriage and for knowing this man for over half my life and appreciating that he can laugh at me, I can laugh at him and we both laugh at our kiddos.

5. The boys are healthy, joyful, polite, and wild and just as they should be. It amazing how well they do, even with the poor mothering they've received lately...oh who am I kidding, most of the time....I am truly thankful for the boys they are.

6. I have come down with a cold...so I'm headachy, sneezy and a bit miserable, and I am thankful it happened AFTER the cardio test. And even though it's not serious, I've decided to 'rest' and it gave me the opportunity to play on the computer (oooh and along with catching up on blogging, I got my sister's, mother's, sister in law's and other sister in law's Christmas gifts ordered, and the boys Christmas pajama's....woo hoo).

I hope that this day finds you (even those of you across seas who don't celebrate this day) thankful for what you have in your life.

Happy Thanksgiving

update

1. Failed the test (74---yes that's failing)...arggg, could not have studied more....got a couple phone calls and I'm not alone! I don't even CARE right now as long as I'm still passing the class --well barely, I'm at a 78 and yes, that's barely passing, a 77 is the cut off for failing.

2. Spoke with Jake today, we had some alone time and I asked him what he felt when he was getting together the plates...he said, he just read it and did what the letter told him too and didn't think much else about it. I asked him if his feelings are hurt or he feels sad that I'm back at school and not spending as much time at home. He said, no, we still do fun things and he does things with dad. Then, and get this, he's such a great kid, he asks ME if I'm liking school and I tell him very much and he says that he's glad that I'm happy DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HIM! I DO. He said he hopes he has fun in college too and wondered if there was a college where you could just learn baseball......and then the conversation disintegrated to discussing bodily functions...he is a boy after all.

3. Went to the movies with my family and had a nice dinner with them....test be damned, I wanted to spend time with my family! Glad I did. We saw The City of Ember, it was actually pretty interesting. And very visually interesting.

I'm gonna whine!

I need to study, I have a test tonight and I'm so unmotivated, this class is unfairly hard especially for a 2 credit class. I don't know what to expect on the test. I've failed two tests and did well on two already and I can't find a pattern to my success or failure. I'm not alone in that, most of the class is grumbling. So instead of being motivated to do well, I feel at a loss right now. I hate that. I'm tired, I miss my family, my family misses me. I just want to clean and bake and do something creative and artsy.

ugggg, sigh, poor pathetic me....

okay on to my other boo hoo moment...

Ms. Martha, is the room mom for Jake's class. And she's been very supportive in letting me do things like just bring paper plates instead of some fun home baked contribution. A couple weeks before, I emailed her with my request so I wouldn't have to compete with any of the other moms with the easy peasy contribution. I got her the plates late Thursday night after a twelve hour clinical shift at the hospital. Meanwhile, Jake read the letter that he was supposed to bring plates and he, in a self-sufficient moment, got some paper plates out of the cupboard and brought them to class (which according to Ms. Martha saved the day because there was a lack of serving plates). Here's where I'm torn...I love that he took the initiative, he read the directions, he figured out what to do and he did it. But was it because he didn't have faith that his mom would do it? Is he feeling a burden of making up grown-up decisions because I'm not as available. Is nine too young for this type of independence? Am I just driving myself crazy over nothingness and just really feeling sad because he's growing up? Does anyone else drive themselves this crazy over something seemingly so benign?

It's these things that make parenting so hard for me...wondering if my decisions will help or hurt the boys emotionally. Hopefully when they grow up they'll know that they were loved.

well, okay, I'm going to take a hot shower and hope that I can get rid of this headache (oh yeah, another thing to whine about, I feel a bit illish) and hit the books!

oh, thanks for the suggestions....I went with buying a whole bunch of snacky foods and then a 10 dollar gift certificate to Wallymart, so if they feel the need, they can buy more food or she can get something fun for herself....About half the people brought a small gift for the birthday girl along with the contributions so it all felt very comfortable.