"Don't freak out mom" is what every mom wants to hear when they answer the phone

Jake spent the day hanging out with his friends, he started at one house, then off to another and then they all decided to go to the park. At the park they left all their stuff (bikes, scooters -- all belonging to one boy) unattended and unlocked. When they got back it was all gone. They panicked.

Being the responsible boys that they were, they called the police to report the crime. The sheriff comes; they make a report and the sheriff leaves to hunt down the culprits (who were most likely teenagers, according to Jake).

Jake calls me:
Jake: Don't freak out mom
Seriously, just saying that puts me on high mom alert and I'm completely freaked
Me: (calmly --- are you laughing, seriously, I was calm......sort of) what happened?
Jake: I had to call the cops
Me: (silence -- but am repeating to myself, don't freak out, don't freak out)
Jake: N's stuff got stolen and so we called the police to report it, the sheriff is going to call you for more information.

MEANWHILE

I find out from T's mom(whilst coordinating who is going to pick up whom and who is doing what and where are all the boys in the neighborhood and what time all this should happen) that, N's parents went to the park, did not see the kiddos (who happened to be at B's house to see if he could join their ever growing gaggle of boys). They saw the stuff laying there unattended and not locked up........

AND

in.order.to.teach.the.kids.a.lesson.

took the stuff.

Yeah, the sheriff thought it was pretty funny too when I told him.

Jason just thinks I (N's dad) is pretty lucky the sheriff didn't see him loading up the van with the "stolen" goods....

Fat Girl Hiking (said like you would say Dead Man Walking) Hanging Lake Edition

We took a weekend getaway to Glenwood Springs -- a fun place to go if you get the chance. On our drive home we decided to hike Hanging Lake. Even though I've grown up here in Colorado I haven't heard of it, but the info on the web said it was a one-point-two mile hike, so I figured no big deal we'd get it done in a couple of hours and get to Beau Jo's in Idaho Springs by lunch . Boy was I a whole lot of wrong! The nicely paved trail to the head of the trail to Hanging Lake was serene, I figured wow this was going to be a piece of cake, now I'm thinking that the people in charge of these things have one sick sense of humor faking us out like that. We get to the sign and to the left there's a slight incline, again, I'm thinking no big deal, as you go up the incline a bit you see a wall face of pure sheer cliff, beautiful cliff, but still cliff, and I wonder, is Hanging Lake way up there? -- Surely not! Well,folks, surely the heck yeah (okay in my brain there were more "choice" words used).

Ten minutes into the hike I need to take a break, I use taking pictures of the kids and scenery as an excuse. Twenty minutes into the hike more pictures, and some sips of water, Jason cautions me on using all our 'space' on our camera up so early into the hike....we haven't even gotten to the quarter mile marker yet. I'm wondering how I can get the family to turn around. That first incline was a baby step, now we're climbing over huge boulders --- umm okay I may be exaggerating a wee bit, but Jason's still needing to pull me up and at times I need to almost crawl (I wish I was exaggerating here). The kids are having a blast -- I'm feeling sick. I'm now starting to see people on their way back down and we haven't hit the half mile marker (Holy mother of GAWD). At least I don't feel like dying --- yet.

Along the way there are picturesque bridges, gorgeous scenery and thank the Lord -- benches. We park ourselves on one and have some nice cooling drinks, which does not stop the burning in my calves, but whatever I can't complain because I gave the kids a big-ol-lecture on how unappealing that is to listen to (me and my big-mouth-parenting). At this point the people coming back down are encouraging us to keep going, the view was worth it blah blah blah, I really wanted to do some serious harm. Meanwhile the boys are saying "wow mom this is the kind of stuff they do on the Biggest Loser" This time I wanted to do harm to my own flesh and blood. The boys then decided that the next Biggest Loser should be in Colorado and they should hike this trail (okay that's actually not a bad idea) ANDDDDD, I should be a contestant (offspring have no problem telling you the truth!).

Three hours later we get to the one mile mark, we still have the point-two to go. There's a bench, I shall call it the Bench of Defeat. We sat, had more water had some cliff bars. At this point I though maybe I'd die. I look up and see the last part of the hike, the point-two and there are railings, probably at a 45 degree angle UP on the side of a cliff. Physically, I figured no way...but with my fear of heights I figured no FREAKIN' way (again, the choice of language in my head, much more colorful). I told Jason and the boys to go on with out me, take lots of pictures, I was going to rest and head back down, they'd probably catch up with me pretty quickly. They went on and I sat there for a bit. Meanwhile this older gentleman with a walking cane and knee brace sat down next to me, told me he was 65 and had just rode his bike to the trail head from Glenwood Springs and just hiked up and if he could do it, I could and he even said I could use his cane. OH MY GAWD! Like a used car salesman he was relentless until I agreed to go up the rest of the way. Big sigh here....so I did. The last bit was grueling. I must have been quite a sight dragging my fat self up the side of that cliff because more then one person asked if I needed help....I would gasp my denial and keep going up, listening to others encourage me and give me those 'atta girls'. Part of me hated that I'm in such horrible shape that I needed those, other parts of me were grateful no one was questioning my logic of making such a hike.

And then I MADE IT.

And it was beautiful...worth it? I'm not so sure, I'm still sore three days later.

And then I had to go DOWN....ugh.

So today, I went into Slimgenics, a weight loss center so that next summer I can do that same hike and be happy about it. I'll post more later...those posts will likely involve lots of whining.

Financial Advice from the guy at the McDonald's drivethrough

Sooo, embarrassingly my card got declined at the McDonald's drive through...4 dollars (two hamburgers and a small milkshake -- don't judge me)....I stupidly ask, "Strange, I wonder how that happened" Most people might think that was a rhetorical question, but the guy at the drive through window, apparently, thought I really wanted his opinion, so while I was digging through the ashtray/coin holder of my car and the bottom of my purse for loose change (yeah, I really wanted that milkshake) the late-teen-early-twenty-year-old decided to tell me how my card could have been declined. He mentioned that if you go into your overdraft a lot then you're charged fees and that's what could have happened--after all not everyone knows that. He was also kind enough to tell me that if I don't pay the overdraft then they can close the account. After I gave him a handful of quarters and reduced my order to just the milkshake, he also mentioned the importance of paying my bills on time....REALLY?

Thankfully, the bank is just across the street from the McDonald's, so I promptly drove over there....after all, I had just looked at my account and I was not in overdraft, bills all paid and thankfully a decent amount in the account (yes, I know we're lucky and blessed to be able to say that). There was a weird charge for an Indian restaurant for 900+ dollars but then a credit for the same amount. I figured, Jason had lunch, they charged the wrong amount and promptly corrected it....I figured WRONG. The lady at the bank....after a chuckle at my story of the McDonald's clerk....called the visa people and was transferred to the fraud department...apparently, it wasn't on Jason's card that the 900 purchase was on, it was mine (not being an engineer, I rarely eat Indian food for lunch, so how could this be?)....apparently this was an Indian restaurant IN India. Our bank card has an awesome fraud department and they caught the activity right away, shut down my card and credited my account (Go Compass/BBVA bank -- don't mess with Basque bankers). Then the clerk said, "sorry I have to do this," and cut my card, I turned to look at the people in line behind me and said, "It's because someone got my number....not because I'm overdrawn" .... like they cared.

Moral of story, don't use my debit card for online purchases.
Not all calls from the bank are sales calls and maybe I should stop screening so much.
Jason sometimes eats lunch at places other then Indian restaurants.

I guess I'm an anti-Mrs Robertson...

J's coach decided to have some pre-season practice and was able to get a high school baseball team to help the little league guys out. So the other moms and I were watching the bigger boys help out the smaller ones learn the ropes of baseball (the kids LOVED it!)....anyhoo this was part of our conversation.....

Me: (about one of the high school boys) Holy cow, look at his pants, they're so dirty!
J: They were sliding
Me: Oh....
Coach's Wife: Were you checking him out?
Me: OMG, no, I was thinking about the laundry his mother is going to have to do and why don't they just wear black pants?

Pause
laughter

Seriously, when did I stop checking guys out and start thinking about laundry?
Just sign me up for AARP now!

It's time for a letter

Dear Homeless Guy,

I appreciate that we are in an economic down turn right now and things are tight and that might be the reason you and your friends were on the corner of Speer and 8th with your homemade signs and bottles wrapped in paper bags. I was on my way to work, rushing between two hospitals (where, by the way, one of your buddies tried to pee on me when I was taking care of him) and that's why I was eating in my car, so yes I did avert my eyes because I felt horribly guilty as you rubbed your tummy in the universal "I'm hungry" sign as you waved your sign angrily at me. I'm so happy you got a laugh from your cohorts....which makes me wonder why you bought that bottle of whatever that you so cleverly hid in that brown bag instead of buying some food if you were so damn hungry. I digress -- I really do feel the plight of those who have lost their jobs and are losing their homes and do think something should be done about that (and have and will continue to donate to worthy causes that help those in need), but when I see you and your brethren (fellow homeless guys, in case you're going to blame FREE public education for your current plight) drinkin', laughin' and hangin' out makes me (almost) want to become Republican.

In the future, I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell, "Bitch" at me when I choose not to give you my last dollar. I need that dollar to buy the tar they call coffee at the hospital so that I can stay awake until midnight to take care of people, some of them who may very well be you or your asshole friends who thought it was so funny of you to call me names....while on may way to WORK (look the word up, you have plenty of copious free time!).

Sincerely,
me

(picture lifted on coffedad.com blog -- pretty sure he lifted it off of someplace else)

It's been coming on for a couple weeks now -- snide little comments, sighs when things aren't done correctly, reprimanding me for putting the knife in the dishwasher after he told me he thought we should hand-wash our knives. These really little stupid things that I've been slightly hurt about, then simmering about, then after rolling them around in my brain started to even boil about it. I felt like I couldn't say anything because he's been helping so much around the house since I've gone back to work.

But, I had it, so I said something.....and he goes off on a list of my most horrible transgressions...I leave wet towels on the bed, I leave my shoes on the floor of the closet and don't put them on the shelf blah blah blah, I am, apparently the worse wife EVER....

so I calmly (and I so rarely get to use that phrase while describing myself) say, 'hey honey, I have a list about that long about the stuff that irritates me about YOU. I just choose to keep it to myself, because they don't mean anything'

pregnant pause

"Well, you should tell me, then we can criticize and degrade each other, it's how it's done....duh" and he comes over to me and hugs me.....

Which made me laugh.....

and now I'm not mad anymore.

Reflections.....

I'm not sure if it's because I'm not feeling well, it's the new year, it's coming up on the anniversary of my dad's death or I'm in the middle of some life changes right now, but I'm feeling quite reflective and this may bore you....but whatever, it's my blog.

My dad died 21 years ago right around the beginning of January, I was 19. He was living in New York and I in Denver, we met for Christmas in Washington DC that year. I had suspected he had been sick for quite awhile but he looked horrible when I saw him. I didn't want to tell him though or even mention illness. We pretty much just danced around the issue because diseases like that weren't discussed then, it wasn't really heard of much, and no one knew a lot about it except it was something that struck gay men. We had a good Christmas, my sister was there, my brother was there too (back round here, this is my brother from my dad and a friend of his, I also have two brothers from my mom and my step-dad -- my sister and I share both parents --- not your typical family structure). We all had a good time, hanging out, seeing some sites, shopping. The day after my brother flew back to Denver (I can't remember how old he was, but little, I'm not sure he was even in school yet), I saw my dad, on the couch, having a hard time catching his breath. I took a deep breath and said, "I know you're sick, I think you know it too, I think we should go to the hospital" (Um, this would be the WASP side of the family, if you couldn't already tell) He looked defeated at that moment. It's a hard look for a man who was 6'3, normally robust and full of life to pull off, but defeated, worn down and frail is how he looked. The friend with whom we were staying took us to the hospital. My dad was whisked behind the double doors and I filled out some paperwork. Except for a brief traumatic moment in the ICU, I never saw him again.

What seemed like an eternity and yet also seemed like just a few minutes....in some weird time stands still but speeds up kind of thing that you can't explain but some of us know what I mean....the doctor came out, hugged me (not a good sign) and told me that my dad wasn't going to make it. He needed to be vented. The doctor wanted to know if I knew what my dad would want in this case but his opinion was that there was no hope of recovery. At 19, I had to fill out the paperwork to pull the plug on my dad (FYI, way too young to make that decision!).

We went back to the friend's house and made calls. Family flew in from all over the country and my dad passed within a couple of minutes of his last visitor.

I spent the next couple of years being really angry at him. Angry at his being gay, angry that he was dead, angry at what a mess his life was, angry that he died of AIDS, something so dark and sinister (it was the 80's and I was 19, I would pause stutter and blurt it out, confused and embarrassed every time anyone asked what my dad died of, because the next question was always, 'how did he get AIDS?'--- I so know it wasn't PC to feel that way, but I did).

Now? Well now I just miss him.

I wonder what he would have thought of my becoming a nurse, it's so far out of the range of what we ever discussed. What would he think of Jason and would he be proud that Jason and I have worked so hard in having a strong marriage. Would our marriage be so strong if I had had a father to run to when things got tough? I am saddened that my children will never know him. I am saddened that he never got to be a grandfather, he would have found so much joy, pleasure and wonder in the presence of his grandkids (he has five and one on the way --- according to my brother's Facebook page). If he was around, would my sister have made some of the harebrained decisions she made in her life? Would his influence have helped her in any way? My sister and I would have known our brother, instead of just having an another 'friend' on Facebook, we would have funny stories to share about our shared parent. He, most likely, barely remembers our father or us. My memories are just of annoyance (I was a TEENAGER at the time), so we never got to know each other. Frankly, it was when we became adults that I developed a relationship with my other brothers.

What would life have been like having a father during my adult years?

I'll never know.

I have lived more years without him then with him. I have lived more years with my husband that I have had with my father.

And even so, I still miss my dad.

What a year!

Merry Christmas

Our Christmas Picture this year....we'll be sending them out next week...blogging isn't the only thing I've slacked on this year.....

It's been so long since I've updated that when I went to type in my blog URL there was no pop-down to Zimmerhouse....gah!
Here's what's been going on:

I GOT A JOB!

Job Facts: Acute Dialysis RN. I'm in my 6th week of a 10 week training course. It's been going well, I really do like it. I think I'm going to like the people with whom I work (whew). They seem to be very conscientious about their jobs and I feel like they're taking a genuine interest in making my training go smoothly and no one seems to mind my endless questions....The work itself is proving interesting....the down side...oh my gosh do my feet hurt at the end of the day and my lower back....ugh...I'm thinking I'm too old to have started such a physical career......

DEMO HAS STARTED ON OUR REMODEL

We found junction boxes just hanging in the joists and a live wire wrapped around a pipe....wondering if there was an inspector out there in the 80's taking bribes or really stoned....sheesh!

Days before Christmas......this goes in the 'what the hell was I thinking' file!


Just one of the piles the contractor (our neighbor, Tom) drove to the dump.

No more white brick in that weird asymmetrical 'suburbia-pseudo-modern' pattern (and still so not sure why the previous owners painted THAT shade of green and framed red wallpaper as a center piece....but then I'm NOT a designer, or play one on TV).

Remodel facts: What can I say, I'm insane! We order our Kitchen cabinets next week and hopefully by the end of March we'll have a new downstairs. The prep work (scraping cottage cheese off the ceilings, the new fireplace wall, raising the height of the kitchen ceiling, crown moulding in the dining and living rooms etc) should be done in the next couple of weeks.

I HAVE THE GREATEST HUSBAND EVER!

Husband facts: He took a couple days off before Christmas and cleaned the whole house....which is no small chore given the remodel. The training schedule has me working five days a week (I go to three-twelves when I'm done ---can't freakin' wait). Anyhow, we had 30 people or so coming for Christmas Eve and he got the place presentable. He's also been super supportive and has picked up the parenting slack in a beautiful and poetic way -- which has made my transition to working-outside-the-home-mom a little bit easier (my kids also have the greatest dad ever!)

I'M LEARNING TO LET GO OF THINGS

Letting go facts: 30 people over for Christmas Eve. I usually cook for everyone as a gift, but this year we went with the whole pot-luck thing and we ordered Rumbi Grill. I did not bake a bunch of cookies and give the kids teachers cookie platters....actually I forgot them altogether this year...I'll have to remedy that in January.....okay, stream of consciousness writing can become a bit side tracked...particularly with my consciousness....back on track...ordered out, did potluck...everyone still had a great time! Forgot to take pictures, so you'll have to take my word on that.

Alrighty, that's it in a nut shell.....Here's to you all, hoping your holidays were wonderful and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Note to self.....

DO NOT USE SELF RISING FLOUR WHEN BAKING UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO.....So I grabbed the container with the Self-Rising flour INSTEAD of the regular flour and I still added baking soda (because I thought I was using regular flour) and all of the sudden I hear stuff happening in my oven and peer in to watch the banana bread explode, then sink into itself. UGH. Little bits of dough caught on fire and then the smoke detector went off....there was a haze of smoke collecting on the ceiling of the entire first floor and the house smelled like smoke as did my subsequent baking attempt. Double ugh. I've since cleaned the oven twice and may need to a third time before attempting another baking project.

These are pictures of the banana bread after I got it out of the oven....I wish I was able to catch the fire...but didn't get to the camera fast enough. Note the dough encrusted on the outside of the baking dishes. Seriously had to use some muscle to scrape it off.

On a funnier note....I walked in on the younger one meditating. He was sitting in the lotus position chanting, "Ummmm, I'm so awesommme, Ummmm, I'm so awesommme" It was so funny to see him do that, funnier still was when he then added, "Jake's so not awesommme". Even Jake laughed.

my vegan challenge is turning more into a vegetarian challenge

It is really really hard to eat out during this challenge. Yesterday we took a group of kiddos to Casa Bonita to celebrate Jake's and a couple others 10th birthdays (yes, his real birthday was a few months ago.....with studying for the boards, Jason's Achilles' tendon deal, looking for a job, Isaac being on swim team and Jake doing baseball....I was a little out of my mind this summer...and now it's Isaac's birthday and Jake pleaded, cajoled and guilted me into making sure I had his birthday BEFORE ISAAC's....and Isaac's is, oh TODAY.....argggg...anyhow, the kids have forgiven me, I hope to forgive myself in the next twenty or so years). Those of you not from Colorado, or ever been here, Casa Bonita is a, ahem - well, an experience. You don't go there for the Mexican food. Truthfully, you could get better Mexican food in a remote Canadian village. I kid you not when I tell you that you could taste the plastic in the cheese. But they do have bottomless sopapillas and lots of honey. Side note: we may have built up the sopapilla factor because when Isaac picked up his first ever, he said, 'what's the big deal, this is just bread!' As soon as we pointed out the honey, he became more satisfied. Anyhow, the point.....there was nothing, NOTHING I could order and you HAVE to order to get in. So I decided to go more vegetarian then vegan and ordered the cheese enchilada platter that came with two beef enchiladas....took one bite of the cheese enchilada....GAROSS (do NOT remember the food being that disgusting when I was a kid????) and so pretty much paid $11.95 for some rice and beans, and of course sopapillas. The company was great (the moms from coffee club, and Jason, who we called Big Love for the day), the kids (13 in all) had a wonderful time so it was all well worth it in the end. This may sound like a bad review, but seriously, Casa Bonita is a place you have to experience at least once in your life....order the taco salad, the meat comes on the side...if I had only known....

And now today....Cloudy, With a Chance of Meatballs....with some seven year olds....at the Movie Tavern. Again, nothing, NOTHING to eat if you're doing a stupid-vegan-Dr.-Oz-freakin'-sadist-challenge. So, again went more vegetarian and had a gross cheese pizza with a wilted dinner salad. The kiddos tried the special meatball pizza in honor of the movie. Oh and by the way, ADORABLE movie. Although, the main character reminded me a bit too much of Isaac...in all of his quirkiness. The kids enjoyed it.

Lessons learned....lentil soup is actually sounding better and better (holy cow did I just type that and MEAN it?). I need to get more organized. And going Vegan is really really hard!

Some shout outs to those who have been blogging and have written some funny stuff -- to make up for me being so BAAAD at blogging:


TMI but so ever funny and shoot my comment is on there which is also TMI

and if you followed Design Star at all then you have to read Dodi's Selective Reality Blog

enjoy!

Day Three Of Vegan Challenge

I really want a hamburger....

yup, that about sums it up!

(photograph from foodfacts.info.com)

Vegan Challenge

OH MY GOSH...it's been awhile, I know. I've been trying to get a job....and get this-- that whole nursing shortage IS A MEAN BAD JOKE! Well at least in Denver. I'm taking a couple days off of the whole looking thing and think I may do this: Dr. Oz's 28 day Vegan challenge Hey, if this meat and potatoes hardworkin' cowboy can do it....then I should be able to do it too....well in theory. So I started the day with my Latte but had them make it with soy milk and did NOT use any sugar or sugar substitute, then had some whole wheat toast with almond butter and an apple for breakfast. So far, not bad, but then I'm only in hour 12 of the 28 DAY challenge. If any of you out there have any vegan recipes....hand them over!

I wonder how Jason's going to feel about this?

Whatever, he can have meat at lunch.

Anyhow, this and maybe some kick boxing....I have to get into shape...one of the jobs I've applied for is in the Department of Corrections, where part of the job descriptions states, 'needs to kick above the waist and be able to use a baton in a striking manner' ..... never thought I'd see that for an RN position, but hey, I guess empathy isn't one of the major requirements for prison nurses.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and if you hear of any RN positions in the Denver area, keep me in mind!

I'm An RN

I passed I passed I passed, and now I'm officially an RN (registered nurse).....Whoo Hoo!

OMG OMG OMG

I take the NCLEX (nursing boards) tomorrow and I'm totally freakin' out! Not to mention, Jason's Achilles tendon popped this weekend and he'll be needing surgery (we find out today when) and Jake woke up throwing up this morning. I'm feeling a bit nauseous myself, and who knows if that's pretest jitters or coming down with whatever Jake has.

If this isn't all proof that God has a warped sense of humor, I don't know what is!

Wish me luck!

What can anyone possibly fight about after 17 years of marriage? Well Let me tell you....

So now I'm getting Facebook messages that I need to blog (you know who you are and are) so here I am blogging my really stupid argument with my husband this morning. Let me first confess, I may have been a touch cranky.......

Isaac got one of those Happy Meal toy characters from the movie "Night at the Museum" (or whatever that movie is with Ben Stiller). He (Isaac) was playing with it at breakfast and Jason asks, "who is that"?
I say, "I think it may be Amelia Earhart".
He says, "It can't be, look at the plane, it's gotta be one of the Wright brothers". --- and he, as far as I'm concerned, could have added, "you moron, don't you know anything about aviation history" He denies it, but it's really the condescending tone he took.

uh, yes, I am PMSing, why do you ask?

I say, "No, I really think it's Amelia".
He says, "It can't be".

I'm disgusted and leave the room. He later leaves for work.
One of the boys finds the card that goes to the toy and would you look at that, it's AMELIA FREAKIN' EARHART....

I WAS RIGHT.

So I call him. I was dialing the phone, mumbling something about being right about the stupid McDonald's Happy Meal toy and Jake, the NINE year old asks, in an all too sane voice for my particular taste this morning, "Mom, are you really going to call Dad to say you were right about the toy?"

I say, "yes," in a voice that portrayed an air of dignity, as if to convey this is really how adults behave and I was being EVER SO FREAKIN' MATURE.

Jake just shrugged his shoulders and walked away (smart boy---uh, must take after me).

Jason answers the phone, I tell him we now have proof (proof, get that you engineer....PROOF) that it's Amelia Earhart.

He pauses......and says,
"Well then she was flying one of the Wright brother's planes".



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Don't fall over, I'm back....

I finished my last presentation for my very last class ---- woo hoo. Now I just have to pass boards and I'm an RN (this should happen sometime in June). I have to say, although I received the education promised, this was one of the most soul-crushing, ego-busting, miserable two years of my life.

Whatever....

So....cute story about one of the kiddos....

Don't know why we started in on this conversation (and really, as parents don't we often wonder how some conversations came to be?) but the boys were asking Jason and I why sisters and brothers can't get married.
I said, "because it's illegal."
Jake asked, "why?"
I said, "because it's gross and nasty."
Jake said, "Mom, picking your boogers is gross and nasty, but that's not illegal."

hahaha -- very true, but I wasn't ready to get into a genetics lesson with the nine year old.

Have a great day!

something funny

a quick catch up:
got a c in my last class (boo hoo)
love my current internship
looking forward to may 15th (graduation)
strained my ankle on Sunday, only non-skier to be injured over our ski weekend in Winterpark
otherwise, had a good time.

okay, something funny:
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL:
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Have a fabulous day everyone!

My Last Med-Surg Test

It's my last test in this horribly hard class (my last clinical will be this Friday)....I really really need a 94 to get a B....(it's that weird and unfair grading scale where a B is 85-92)....and so, even though I've been super really bad about keeping up with all your blogs and you could say I've been a very bad blog friend (fyi, I've been a pretty bad real-life friend too) it's for a good reason (and seriously if I'm ever your nurse you'll be glad I studied this much)...oh, back to my original thought, even though I've been a bad blog friend, please please, think good thoughts, pray, rub the buddah belly, hug a goddess....whatever floats your boat...that I do well on this test...10 am mountain standard time...okay, back to studying (not that I don't trust the power of prayer, it's just always good to have a back up plan)....

And yes, I know above sentence/paragraph is a run on sentence...for an English major I have horrible grammar and spelling...go figure.

my funny husband.....again

Either my husband is really funny or my horrible housekeeping skills gives him a lot of ammunition or both....but the other day he comes running down the stairs yelling, "Call 9-1-1, call 9-1-1" I didn't even ask why because he sounded so concerned. My finger was on the 9 on the phone when he said, "someone stole all your clothes".....I had spent the day, a day out of my SPRING BREAK mind you, organizing the closet.....I laughed any way---mostly because he was just so proud of himself and he is so darn CUTE.

A couple nights before that report cards came out. He handed me Isaac's (I was doing a 12 at the hospital and so he got to the back packs first that day). I freaked out, it was all about what a problem child he was, how he's not even reading at a kindergarten level (he reads above level by the way)...it was sooo not what we were expecting...I mean it even said he didn't get along with his classmates or teachers....I was about to explode when Jason said, "look at the name" ---- well no wonder it didn't sound like our child, there was a mix up...whew, but mean Jason for doing that to me....I still laughed, I can't help it, he's so darn cute! This is why I can't really discipline the kids that well either, they're so darn cute, just like their dad. Anyhow...Jason told me that he got to the comment section and even read the other kid's name, and instead of thinking it was another kid, thought it was some strange pet name for Isaac....hahhaha, now that's funny Mr. Smarty Pants. (FYI...Isaac is doing fantastically, he gets along well with others and his teachers, he just can't keep his desk organized....hmmmm, I wonder if he ever cleaned it out if his teacher would yell, 'call 9-1-1).

I should have gone to design school

Each test is getting progressively worse and I may actually get my first C in a class.....(still above 80% but they have that wonky grading scale and I need to be above 85 for the B). GRRRRR

Okay, enough, just a quick update, thank you for your well wishes! I have to rush to the tutoring center...where by the way I'm the Tutor...hahaha, if those first semesters only knew....but before I leave I thought I'd share with you about my funny husband's phone call this morning:

ring ring
"Hi Jason"
"Hi honey, I don't know why I get on these thought tangents but I just want to apologize for wearing a gray tux with burgundy tie at prom.....I must have looked like such a dork"
"hahahahha, but I still married you, didn't I"
"and thank you for that"

Have a fantastic week everyone...I'm swamped --- clinicals at our local county hospital, where by the way, last week some guy tried to purposely pee on me....really I kid you not!