Joke for grammar Geeks

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned -- it will not work again for another year!"Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123." He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life ... just as the medicine man had promised. Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"And that, my friends, is why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition!!

okay no time to really post right now, so I thought I'd leave you with one of those obnoxious email forwards, that I found amusing.

What to read, what to read??

Two more weeks, two more weeks....woo hoo. I'll have just time enough to read one juicy, without thought, totally trashy novel before my next set of classes....but which one? I haven't read one in so long....so, I'm asking for recommendations! And I know you read a lot of blogs out there buzzing about Harry and while I have nothing against Harry, Like Martha, I need to catch up on Harry and since nursing school starts in the fall, this will not be possible.

Here's the criteria:
Fun characters
No One dies
Mystery and a touch of romance ok but not essential
Can be read on a plane while keeping an 8 and 4 year old quiet
AND absolutely none of my brain synapses must fire while reading the book, they need rest!

Looking forward to hearing any suggestions.....

I must laugh all the time

OK, so I just think my husband is so funny and witty...here's one reason why:

Yesterday we went to the neighborhood park for a cookout with our out-of-town friends and all of our combined children (by the way their kids are adorable!) When we get there we see that it's been taken over by this huge gathering of people. There's still one grill left and so we decide to proceed anyway. Jason tries to light the coals but the lighter doesn't work and frankly the wind is just a tad too strong (common for Colorado). So one of the guys from the gathering, who brought his own grill offers his up as they were done cooking....very nice and neighborly. Turns out it was a gathering of the local Mormon Ward. Whenever we've had contact with our Mormon neighbors they all do seem very warm and welcoming. So Jason's grilling away and the pastor (I actually think they're called bishops) comes up to Jason and introduces himself, and said to Jason, "I don't think I've actually met/seen you before" Of course the guy assumed Jason was part of the invited group....so without missing a beat, Jason says:
"That's because I always sit in the back"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I laugh all the time, he's got such a great wit and sense of humor, he just fills my life with joy.

So it's not like the Mormons have a yellow .... hmm what would their equivalent to a Star of David be....anyway, yellow whatever stitched to their coats so I really don't know which neighbor goes to that church, but after yesterday I recognized many a mom from school. We mingled, had a good time even if we were uninvited (community park by the way, it's not like we wandered into someone's back yard). As we left, I said to Jason, "what does it mean when we know more people from the Mormon church then we do from our own?"

I have my thoughts, but better left for a more serious post....

I should post....

Okay, I've been studying up a storm and have two papers to write TODAY but thought I'd blog anyway...always in the mood for some procrastination....Here's what's been going on:

Forgot brother's and new sister-in-law's bdays, sent them lame emails, gifts were bought a while ago (along with a housewarming gift) all scattered around the house and my car. I did also purchase wrapping paper, I am that much closer to getting gifts mailed out....I do believe wedding gift (coming up in a couple of weeks) will be mailed from the registry or cash.

I'm getting a B in Patho...yeah, you read it right, a B....worked my hiney off (actually I think I worked a couple extra pounds ON ---I'm not one of those, oh I'm so stressed I lose weight kinda gals)....now I just have to keep it up (A&P is also a B) TWO MORE WEEKS TO GO.

I got nominated for a schmooze award...who knew that being so chatty would get me nominated for anything, glad it finally paid off, usually I just got told to be quiet and let the other students learn.

We're having friends come in tomorrow from Indiana. Very excited to see them and meet their daughter. They used to live here but moved back to Indiana to be near their family.

And, heard on the news today that Colorado got their anti-terror budget upped by a few mill. Orlando lost a couple mill. So does this mean we need it more because we are a target? And/Or even terrorists think that Disney World is the happiest place on Earth too?

Alright alright, I'm going to go write my papers now, one is on damage after therapeutic hypothermia. I promise if you're really nice I'll post it. Grin.

the 4th

Bridget and her cousins
Bikes decorated and they're ready to ride
It was a cowboy theme...Jake's attempt at stubble
Patriotic cowboy grunge? new look?
OK, I so have a cute niece!

The boys went to Yampa for the Fourth, Their cousin's paternal grandmother lives there and invited us all up (I stayed and studied...will let you know later if it was worth it, just took the test online). Bridget was there as were her paternal cousins, her maternal cousins (my boys) had a grand ol' time with them up there. They decorated bikes and scooters and joined in the parade. Jason and Isaac won the egg toss....they some how got a mutant industrial egg that wouldn't break. The judge had to 'prove' it was a real egg when they won. Jason and Jake got a blue ribbon for the three legged race too.

So Isaac does not like sharing his Aunt Shaina with the 'other' cousins particularly the other little boy cousin, there were some tussles. And he's quite enamoured with the girl cousin....thank goodness they aren't 'blood' related...can you say 'Deliverance'?

I missed them tons!....but it's just one summer, school is almost over and we get to road trip in August!

favorite quotes

favorite quotes? ooooh, how do I choose? OH, this question coming to you from ms. martha

I like this one:
"You can preach a better sermon with the way you live then with words"
It's pretty self-explanatory...but I'll explain why anyway...

I'm so OVER the "good Christian" thing. Being a democrat, think people should make their own choices, say a naughty thing or two (or three), see R-rated movies and well, like sex with my husband doesn't make me a bad Christian. I don't need to preach to all who don't want to hear what they are doing wrong (or right)----even if I DO KNOW EVERYTHING. I think I should live my life as wholesomely as possible, with grace, love of my neighbors, kindness to strangers, etc. AND in the way I LIVE my life be an example, not by what I tell people to do. AND...sooo don't tell me what to do---Really ask anyone, I HATE being told what to do.

And, mushy mush stuff, just went to an uppercase living party and bought this quote to put on the wall " Happiness is being married to your best friend". And here is where it gets really mushy...go ahead get a barf-bucket. We have a 'love wall' above our bed where we hang pictures and, things we've found on anniversary trips etc and that's where I'm going to put my quote. I so love my hubby, which is good because we've been together for over half our lives.
They also have this quote that I may get for our hallway where I plan on having pictures of the boys...Boy: n. a noise with dirt on it.

Women In Art

I should be studying, but this was neat, enjoy.

coincidences

Coincidences, I'm really fascinated by them. I love it when people use them in books and movies....those chance happenings where so many things have to fall in place for one significant thing to happen or the same thing happening to two different people and different places, times whatever. Randomness? Some weird cosmic pattern we mere mortals can't see?

Here are my two recent experiences from the 'wow that was weird' files:

The other day I was in the school library printing off the PowerPoint presentations for my patho class. I screwed up and instead of doing 6 slides to a page I printed out one 'cell' per page so had like 40 pages. I went to the front desk to pay for it and to ask if they have a more industrial stapler. She opened the drawer and I saw my cell phone....I had NO idea it was lost, I just thought it was immersed in the clutter of my car....my phone is easily recognizable because the antennae is exposed as I dropped it awhile ago and the casing fell off....

so many things had to fall in place for me to find a phone I didn't even know was lost..I mean I KNOW how to print 6 cells to a page, I just pushed print before I reconfigured....

bizarro

Next story
Jake needed stitches last night....He's okay. He was jumping around on wet concrete showing his cousin what he was going to do when he got his trampoline (our first trampoline injury and we don't even one yet); then he slipped and fell on his chin. Four stitches later and doing fine we took him by his grandmother's to show her and his aunt and uncle that he was fine (this happened at his cousin's birthday party). She reminds Jason that on his 8th birthday he needed stitches...Jake is two days away from his 8th birthday....We should ask if Jason's father needed stitches around that time...maybe there's a curse against the Zimmer boys, passed back from their European days where when the boys turn 8 something happens? Just another weird thing with no explanation...

Anyone else out there with weird coincidences? A cascade of events that have to occur for one thing to happen?